In the midst of our moving madness we have acquired two new pets...Bijou, a cockatiel and Peppa, a sun conure. Feeling guilty that our house was too chaotic to house a homeless parishioner, I decided we could at least take care of his birds. How much trouble can birds be???
While the birds are quite lovely...fun, cute, responsive...they also suffer from separation anxiety! Yes, it's true. We keep the birds in the guest bedroom and keep the doors closed lest our pooches become too inquisitive and decide these birds are stuffed toys with which to be played (as Cletus did last month to a small bird in our yard...another traumatic pet tale). And generally, throughout the day, the birds are happy to chirp with their fellow feathered friends outside in a nice subdued tone.
This however changes when they hear me or Josh moving or talking nearby. Then the chatter grows louder and louder until we come into the room and comfort them. The minute they see us, they are silent. All they want is a little attention. But try to leave and the nice quiet, affection turns ugly. When anyone leaves the room, the poor parrots squawk like mad...
"Don't leeeeaaaaave me!!!"
(Okay, so they don't actually speak those words, but the tone of the cry says it all.)
This anxious, loud cry then turns our mostly calm dogs into two scared nervous wrecks, who begin to paw and whine and cry and shake...perhaps in sympathy with their bird brothers or in pain from the ear piercing shrieks. All of a sudden the house erupts in animal chaos!!
As you might imagine, with the stress of moving, it doesn't take much to tip the balance of restrained anxiety into full-blown panic mode these days. As it is, poor Cletus is anxious all the time, not knowing what to make of the packing and mommy's high stress level. Mostly he lays forlorn at my feet with the saddest expression, only to intermittently leap onto my lap in random anxious attacks during which only a cuddle can calm the nerve rattled beast.
It truly is an animal house around here these days....oh, to be done with moving!
Monday, June 26, 2006
Friday, June 23, 2006
Obsession
I realize I have become completely obsessed and over something silly, trivial, juvenile, infact.
I am obsessed with downloading the theme from Alias to be my ringtone for my phone. I have searched the internet high and low. I repeat searches on google just in case something has changed since the last time I frantically looked for the fulfillment of my cellular dreams. I go back to the same websites time and time again believing that they will have upgraded their site and have added my crappy Samsung phone on the list of phones that support the tune. I surf the T-Mobile site, sure that even though the show has ended and is no longer the hottest new thing (and perhaps hasn't been for about 3 years), that they will have sensed my longing and posted the theme for fans like me.
This morning I even found myself wading through cyber-techno-babble (babble to me since, as Josh says, "I am bad at technology.") trying to figure out how to download a "Midi" file (who knows what that is??) to my phone. But alas, I have a funeral to write and it seems this process is not easy...particularly for a technologically challenged person like myself.
Sigh.
I am obsessed with downloading the theme from Alias to be my ringtone for my phone. I have searched the internet high and low. I repeat searches on google just in case something has changed since the last time I frantically looked for the fulfillment of my cellular dreams. I go back to the same websites time and time again believing that they will have upgraded their site and have added my crappy Samsung phone on the list of phones that support the tune. I surf the T-Mobile site, sure that even though the show has ended and is no longer the hottest new thing (and perhaps hasn't been for about 3 years), that they will have sensed my longing and posted the theme for fans like me.
This morning I even found myself wading through cyber-techno-babble (babble to me since, as Josh says, "I am bad at technology.") trying to figure out how to download a "Midi" file (who knows what that is??) to my phone. But alas, I have a funeral to write and it seems this process is not easy...particularly for a technologically challenged person like myself.
Sigh.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Josh's New Job
YEAH!!!!! Tomorrow is the start of Josh's new job!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!
Can you tell we are excited? Josh has been looking for meaningful work that came with benefits and a living wage for months. He had finally resigned himself to another two years of administrative work when this job came along. After two very intense interviews for a non-profit (think a timed fill-in-the-blank quiz and an interview with the entire 15 member office staff shooting question one after the other), Josh was hired.
As of tomorrow, Josh works for Homestart, Inc., a housing advocacy non-profit. His branch is in Central Square in Cambridge (just three stops on the red line from our new home in Davis Square). His job is both as a housing search advocate (helping people find and lease housing) and as a budget counselor (I know some of you are laughing right now...yes, it is a little ironic!).
Maybe he will even grace this blog with his presence to write about his first day on the job!!!
Can you tell we are excited? Josh has been looking for meaningful work that came with benefits and a living wage for months. He had finally resigned himself to another two years of administrative work when this job came along. After two very intense interviews for a non-profit (think a timed fill-in-the-blank quiz and an interview with the entire 15 member office staff shooting question one after the other), Josh was hired.
As of tomorrow, Josh works for Homestart, Inc., a housing advocacy non-profit. His branch is in Central Square in Cambridge (just three stops on the red line from our new home in Davis Square). His job is both as a housing search advocate (helping people find and lease housing) and as a budget counselor (I know some of you are laughing right now...yes, it is a little ironic!).
Maybe he will even grace this blog with his presence to write about his first day on the job!!!
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Crashing
It is amazing how much stress the human body can handle....and equally amazing how hard it crashes when the "fight or flight" adrenaline wears off. Following the week of mad preparation, the hellish week of annual conference, and the draining week of hosting lots of different folks, my body could take no more.
I had the worst migrane of my life all day Friday and Saturday. It felt as though it would never end. Usually my newly found migranes (just started getting them this year) last 24 hours...this one held out for two days.
So, while I slept all day under the weight of the pain, Josh went to the American Beer Fest in Boston. I'm not sure who felt worse at the end of the day.
Today, the magic of sleep finally wore down the migrane and left me awake and alert to finish my last sermon for the parish I am leaving in just a week.
I had the worst migrane of my life all day Friday and Saturday. It felt as though it would never end. Usually my newly found migranes (just started getting them this year) last 24 hours...this one held out for two days.
So, while I slept all day under the weight of the pain, Josh went to the American Beer Fest in Boston. I'm not sure who felt worse at the end of the day.
Today, the magic of sleep finally wore down the migrane and left me awake and alert to finish my last sermon for the parish I am leaving in just a week.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Life Resumes
The last two weeks have been utter chaos as we prepared for and weathered my ordination celebration. The frantic preparations for guests, the party afterwards and then the visits from family that lingered over the next week have completely exhausted both me and Josh.
Phew!
While I was overjoyed to have so many folks come to celebrate with me...folks from so many different parts of my life, I have to admit that the actual ecclesiastical, institutional ordination was painful. It became so very clear to me that the institution of the Church is hierarchical, patriarchichal, and loathes any hint of non-conformity. I suppose I should be relieved to finally have "made it" into the ranks of "elders," but quite frankly it feels like an exclusive club to which I still don't belong. My social, political and theological convictions leave me at odds with the institution. While I hold the title of being now in the center, my heart and soul remains on the margins.
Phew!
While I was overjoyed to have so many folks come to celebrate with me...folks from so many different parts of my life, I have to admit that the actual ecclesiastical, institutional ordination was painful. It became so very clear to me that the institution of the Church is hierarchical, patriarchichal, and loathes any hint of non-conformity. I suppose I should be relieved to finally have "made it" into the ranks of "elders," but quite frankly it feels like an exclusive club to which I still don't belong. My social, political and theological convictions leave me at odds with the institution. While I hold the title of being now in the center, my heart and soul remains on the margins.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
A Fine Dinner Ruined
Last night Josh and I hosted one of my advisors, her roomate and their very playful pup to our house for dinner. We had a great time...after an initial establishing of the doggie hierarchy, the dogs got along fabulously running and jumping throughout the house together. We talked about everythnng from university politics to how to train our dog to family holiday horror stories of years gone by. It was lovely.
And then, the inevitable came. My advisor said, "Why don't we go into the other room and talk about your prospectus?"
This would be the prospectus that I have worked nearly six months writing, the prospectus that failed the advanced studies committee twice already, the prospectus that I can't stomach looking at or even thinking about.
Suddenly the fun atmosphere of party and doggie playdate became as somber as any funeral march as I followed her to my office.
And so we spent the next half hour, standing in my office taking apart the work I had done and building something new that I don't quite comprehend yet and which I think will ultimately be rejected by my other advisor. I am just not ready to engage that work again.
It was helpful and hopeful on the other hand to hear my advisor and roomate's equally shattering and painful experiences with their own prospecti...at least I am not alone.
And then, the inevitable came. My advisor said, "Why don't we go into the other room and talk about your prospectus?"
This would be the prospectus that I have worked nearly six months writing, the prospectus that failed the advanced studies committee twice already, the prospectus that I can't stomach looking at or even thinking about.
Suddenly the fun atmosphere of party and doggie playdate became as somber as any funeral march as I followed her to my office.
And so we spent the next half hour, standing in my office taking apart the work I had done and building something new that I don't quite comprehend yet and which I think will ultimately be rejected by my other advisor. I am just not ready to engage that work again.
It was helpful and hopeful on the other hand to hear my advisor and roomate's equally shattering and painful experiences with their own prospecti...at least I am not alone.
Friday, June 02, 2006
Moving Madness
We are t-minus one month before the big move from a large, spacious 10 room parsonage to a tiny four room apartment and I am going mad!
First, trying to go through three years of accumulated CRAP is time consuming and frustrating as I realize how very little of my mountain of CRAP I ever actually use. Then there are the painstaking questions of what to let go of...notes from seminary, college, even high school? Will I look back and regret throwing them away? And then there is my beloved 15 year old Mac computer....how can I get rid of it when it has ALL of my undergrad work on it??? I have one non-functioning laptop...but again it is the storage unit for so many papers from seminary....
In the packing and sorting we have also been shocked by just how very much Christmas stuff we have. One year I stocked up on wrapping paper...we will NEVER have to buy wrapping paper again...mountains of the stuff!!! And gifts to be given...boxes of baskets and ornaments waiting to be given...one green Santa I've waited to give to someone for the past 5 years!!!
Oh, and the clothes....beloved outfits I haven't worn for years, but sit promising for just that right occasion. We have a little under ONE MILLION socks...the problem is none of them match each other. Separated at laundry, the socks wander from basket to basket in our bedroom searching for their first mate only to be sloughed back and forth from pile to pile without ever finding a match.
The second huge task is figuring out how to fit the furniture of a ten room house into a four room box...not easy. I sit up late at night figuring out different configurations, moving furniture in my head until I fall asleep from mental exhaution. I put the sofa here then there. I re-arrange the book cases and contemplate knocking down walls, or better yet building walls. I ponder finishing the basement and re-painting the cabinets. At at the end of it all, I realize none of it will ever work.
The third task is figuring out moving time. The current tenant has decided he has no need to give a date when he will move out...there are even hints that he will not move out at all which will force a horrible confrontation from an already mad and over stressed doctoral student (who would be me!). This means there is no time to prepare the apartment before we move in. We will have to clean, paint and unpack at once in a space so tiny you can hardly move . It is going to be hell. How I am supposed to write my prospectus during this move, I have no idea.
And the fourth addition to the perfect storm of madness brewing in my mind...my parents are coming, along with Josh's mom, my mentor from Michigan and his family, my best friend from high school, all the wild women, and about 50 other people to a bash at our home (now ravaged from the sorting and packing nightmare) in a week. All I have done is bought the frozen burgers.
Sigh.
First, trying to go through three years of accumulated CRAP is time consuming and frustrating as I realize how very little of my mountain of CRAP I ever actually use. Then there are the painstaking questions of what to let go of...notes from seminary, college, even high school? Will I look back and regret throwing them away? And then there is my beloved 15 year old Mac computer....how can I get rid of it when it has ALL of my undergrad work on it??? I have one non-functioning laptop...but again it is the storage unit for so many papers from seminary....
In the packing and sorting we have also been shocked by just how very much Christmas stuff we have. One year I stocked up on wrapping paper...we will NEVER have to buy wrapping paper again...mountains of the stuff!!! And gifts to be given...boxes of baskets and ornaments waiting to be given...one green Santa I've waited to give to someone for the past 5 years!!!
Oh, and the clothes....beloved outfits I haven't worn for years, but sit promising for just that right occasion. We have a little under ONE MILLION socks...the problem is none of them match each other. Separated at laundry, the socks wander from basket to basket in our bedroom searching for their first mate only to be sloughed back and forth from pile to pile without ever finding a match.
The second huge task is figuring out how to fit the furniture of a ten room house into a four room box...not easy. I sit up late at night figuring out different configurations, moving furniture in my head until I fall asleep from mental exhaution. I put the sofa here then there. I re-arrange the book cases and contemplate knocking down walls, or better yet building walls. I ponder finishing the basement and re-painting the cabinets. At at the end of it all, I realize none of it will ever work.
The third task is figuring out moving time. The current tenant has decided he has no need to give a date when he will move out...there are even hints that he will not move out at all which will force a horrible confrontation from an already mad and over stressed doctoral student (who would be me!). This means there is no time to prepare the apartment before we move in. We will have to clean, paint and unpack at once in a space so tiny you can hardly move . It is going to be hell. How I am supposed to write my prospectus during this move, I have no idea.
And the fourth addition to the perfect storm of madness brewing in my mind...my parents are coming, along with Josh's mom, my mentor from Michigan and his family, my best friend from high school, all the wild women, and about 50 other people to a bash at our home (now ravaged from the sorting and packing nightmare) in a week. All I have done is bought the frozen burgers.
Sigh.
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