So, here in no particular order are just a few of my bad dates revisited...
- Hijacked! - Our cheerleading squad was no "Bring It On," but we did at times pretend to want to be better than we were. So, it was no surprise when one of the guys on the squad invited me to a local college basketball game to "watch the cheerleaders." Supposedly we were going to meet up with others at the game and take notes on the Musketeers' moves. I should have known it would be a rough night when he showed up at my house with an enormous, elaborately wrapped gift for me...a framed poster of Clark Gable from Gone With the Wind (to his credit, one of my favorite movies at the time). He then suggested we grab something to eat before the game. Disregarding my suggestion for quick take out from Izzy's or Skyline, he took me to a very sad, shabby Chinese restaurant where he made us sit in an all-too-cozy booth and insisted on paying. Things were getting worse. When we arrived at the game nobody else was there to meet us. Surprise. Surprise. I had been duped. As if I was not uncomfortable enough already, he decided to make a declaration of his love for me right then and there...at which point I could say nothing more than, "Take me home. Now!"
- Save the Best for Last - My senior prom was well, less than the best, to say the least. Being on one of the many break-up hiatuses from my high school boyfriend, I ended up being set up for prom with my best friend's boyfriend's friend from school. He was a lovely person. Very nice, neat, polite and courteous...so much so he drove me crazy. What I found most annoying was his insane insistence on opening every single door for me even if it meant sprinting ahead of me so he could reach the entry first. No matter what I did he refused to leave me alone. Unable to convince him it was time for him to go home, I resorted to hiding out in the vastness of our friend's home. Dodging from room to room, I would tell my friends to misdirect him so I could have some space (which also meant reconciling with my boyfriend in the bushes). While I managed to evade his presence for most of the night, I did not get away scott free. At the end of the evening, just as I thought the nightmare was finally over, he leaned in for the inevitable good night kiss attempt. I tried to be kind, but I just couldn't do it. I knew it would be horribly embarassing for him, but no matter how hard I tried to bear it, I could not. Despite all our friends watching, I denied him by grabbing his hands and pushing him away. "Thanks for a good night. Good luck with everything."
- Excuse me? In grad school I met a new student who had just moved to the area where I lived at the time. He seemed lonely and in need of a friend and so I offered to show him around. In hindsight, I should have realized that this would turn into a date, but at the time I just thought I was being nice. It became clear early on from his words and attempted groping that in fact this was a date. After an all-too intimate dinner, we headed to the movies. As we were waiting for the film to begin he said, "You know, I'm really glad you went out with me. Living with my wife and kids is hard and I need to have some fun once and a while." Um, excuse me? Wife and kids? As I expressed my surprise at his marital status and asked him what he thought we were doing together he said, "Well, this is a date, right? I thought you would be cool with it. You look like the type of woman that would date a married man." Lovely. And with that I reverted to my high school habit and said, "Take me home. Now."
What are your memories of dates gone bad?
11 comments:
those are priceless stories
thanks for the memories
it makes one wonder how two people ever get together but thank God it does happen
I guess the awkwardness of dating helps us appreciate the comfort of the committed marriage relationship
there is something to be said for old fashioned values even in a GBLT world (btw I am a fairly recent Christian convert to that GBLT world.)
I should make one correction
Gay, Lesbian and Transgendered I can understand and sympathize with
but Bi? I'm not sure about.
I'm old fashioned enough to say if either one is good for you then pick one and go with it.
so I'm actually in the GLT friendly world (perhaps you will help me understand the moral and spiritual justification for Bi?)
Some concepts just don't want to fit into this simple country boy's cranium.
IA - Bisexuality is not about being with two people at once, but rather being attracted to and compatible with both genders.
Since Kinsey many people think about sexuality as a continuum where most land somehwere in the middle...that is not exclusively either heterosexual or homosexual. This of course does not mean that most are bi, but rather that many people experience levels of atrraction toward both genders.
A good book on bisexuality and spirituality is Blessed Bi Spirit.
Yeah, as I've understood it both in theory and in how bi people I know live it out, Bisexuality is not polyamorism. While some bisexuals are polyamorous, it has nothing to do with their bisexuality (as there are gay, lesbian, and straight polyamorous people as well.)
In the "old fashioned sense" a bisexual gets married and vows to "forsake all others for one" just the same whether those "others" are male or female. Egro, a heterosexual man marries and still is attracted to other women, he doesn't act on those attractions (provided he's being faithful of course!) Likewise a bisexual who marries (either same or opposite gender) remains attracted to people of both genders but doesn't act of them out of her or his marriage vow of fidelity.
Anyway...
Does anyone really have a "good prom date"? It seems to be the bane of our generation that the prom was the lousiest thing ever in retrospect. Even for those "couples" who were rock solid in their dating and such and a lot of those who got married later still look back at the prom as "a lot of pressure and a lousy time."
My senior prom was exactly that as well. I went "as friends" with a sophomore who got what she wanted out of it by getting to go to the prom and double dating with her two best friends who were going together at the time. I got what I wanted out of it by a date so I wasn't some social misfit not going to my own senior prom. There were to girls went "stag" to the prom...together. Wore tuxedos and had their picture taken together and everything. In retrospect...duh. They had a great time and most people were "whispering the L word" but admitting they were having more fun than the rest of us and it really didn't matter.
The best part was that my senior year was the first year the school tried an official "after prom" party to try and avoid some of the drunken parties, driving/deaths, and date rape that traditionally went on after proms. SADD was a big sponsor of it and SADD was highly popular at my school as we'd a few well known students to drunk driving already in the past two years.
It started after the prom (around 9 PM) and went all night until 5 AM when buses took off to Chicago for a day trip for that Sunday. I didn't do the bus trip but went to the party. It was a Monte Carlo theme and we had various casino games where we'd play to win tickets that were used at various periods through the night for neat door prizes that were donated from local stores and restaurants. I made off with some gift certificates for a great local Italian place. Others got walkmans, boom boxes, etc.
Also the teachers and PTA volunteers who ran the thing purposely were there to "let their hair down" too so we had teachers "being themselves" as regular human beings. It was cool to see who had what hobby that they brought to the entertainment parts of the night. We had no idea one of our teachers could sing "Old Time Rock'n'Roll" so well and do the Risky Business routine to it (although in jeans, not underpants)!
Also, while ever other senior class ever was choosing "Right Here Waiting for You" as their theme song, we got enough cool kids together to out vote that song for a metal rock anthem! Sheriff's "When I'm With You" was our song. (I'm surprised it didn't make it onto my top 25 actually).
It's a song I can return to not because of what "that night" was but because I can now look back on later relationships and project to what that night should have been allowed to be.
it's the fidelity thing I'm on about
if a gay couple want to make a go of life long commitment and loving support I'm able to make that work in my mind
but if commitment is not part of it then I'm not able to march in that parade
that is why I sugested that Bi's should pick one way of relating sexually and go with it
if either sex is satisfying then I'd hope they would choose and then try to make a life out of it
I don't see how multiple similtanious or sequential partnering is justified for christians of any stripe (of course forgivenss for not making it work or for succumbing to temptations is a given).
I don't think authorizing infidelity or promiscuity from the get-go is compatible with Christian faith.
ooops
looks like Kirk anticipated my concerns while i was writing my question
I think it is essentail to be pro people no matter the differences. I was concerned that just because all people react to many different sexual stimuli we are not justified in acting on all of them.
thanks for the answer Kirk
I can endorse the understanding you put forward
Kirk is right on...both about bisexuality and prom!
I don't think I ever had a "bad date." Sometimes I was glad they were over, but there was never anything really awful. There were a few people I only went out with once, but I still enjoyed getting to know them, even if there were some uneasy moments and I wasn't having the time of my life.
I went to prom with a good friend from another school. I had asked him a few months in advance and in the meantime had started dating someone else. My date was kind enough to say that he didn't mind if I didn't take him, but I figured I'd probably have more fun with him anyway. The actual prom part was kind of lame, and when we tried to go to a jazz club downtown afterwards they wouldn't let us in because we were underage (which was very strange in Nashville. I rarely had trouble getting in places because of my age--the city in general seemed very laid back). So we just sat around and talked.
I remember going to my first fraternity formal in college and and realizing, "So that's what prom was supposed to be like!"
What is this “date” thing you speak of?
Heh,
Same here. It's been ages since I've had an honest to god "Date".
Oh, I meant to say, too, that at my old church (two churches ago) at Leadership Retreat we'd play a game of sorts. We went around the room and rated ourselves on a "sexuality continuum" with 1 being totally heterosexual and 10 being totally homosexual. It never failed that out of about 25-30 people only one or two rated themselves a 1 or a 10. Sometimes to shake it up the person whose turn it was had to close his/her eyes and let everyone else rate them before giving their own rating. It was always fun and, of course, participation was voluntary.
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