In Need of an Addiction

The new season of TV has rolled around again and is conspicuously missing my guilty pleasure...Alias. For the past five years, I looked forward to one sinfully good hour a week watching a show that, despite its objectification of women and glorification of violence, was absolutely addictive!

Last year as Alias wrapped up its final season I tried to find a substitute addiction to fill the coming void. I watched Desperate Housewives, House, Grey's Anatomy, even CSI and CSI Miami. But there were no sparks. This year with a new line up I still had hope for that perfect fix...Studio 60, Heroes, Dancing with the Stars,Brothers and Sisters...yet none seem to fit.

All I want is one good show that gives me something to look forward to as I work week after week...just one hour of rest, just one hour of escape, just one hour of meaningless TV drama.

Is that so much to ask?

Who Dey

It is football season again. Usually, I dread the coming of this time of year as I prepare to lose my partner from Thursday through Monday.

But this year it's different. I actually like football. I found myself protesting last night when Josh changed the channel from the NFL game to Iron Chef. Now that's a reversal!

Some might say it is a hold out from my old cheerleading days or perhaps growing to love what my partner loves. I, however, place the blame squarely on the shoulders of the Cincinnati Bengals.

Every year since their last Super Bowl appearance (1988), I have confidently asserted that this was the year they were going to go all the way. And every year, I wince each time I say it, knowing full well that they are going to be lucky to win a couple games at most.

But not this year!!! This year they are actually winning...even beating the Steelers yesterday!!!

So bring on the football! This year is worth watching!

We are now even planning a Thanksgiving trip to South Carolina...not to see Josh's family, but to watch Clemson take on South Carolina!!

So, You Wanna Be a Ho

This week a huge lot (3,500 to 4,000 dolls) of vintage Barbies goes on the auction block at Christie's London.

As a child I had what I then believed to be the mother load of Barbies (though now in comparison it seems insignificant)...Spanish Barbie, Astronaut Barbie, Surfer Barbie, the Barbie condo, pool, RV and more. However, as a college student I began to realize the negative gender stereotypes this doll had instilled in me...perfect body, huge breasts, feet that could only wear high heels, sayings like "math is hard." You get the picture.

So, reading the article on the sale was somewhat thrilling for me...particularly when I got to this part:

"Lord pointed out that the American doll's looks were inspired by Bild Lilli, a 1950's comic strip prostitute created for the German newspaper Bild. Voluptuous figure notwithstanding, Barbie's dark past was hidden from her new US audience.

'The message for American women and little girls in the 1950s, maybe women everywhere, and maybe all women now,' said Lord, 'is that you are supposed to look like a hooker but be so wholesome.'"

I always knew something was wrong about Barbie!!! Now it makes perfect sense!

PS The title to this post comes from an old SNL skit with "Velvet Jones" played by Eddie Murphy. A classic and one of my favorites!!!

Gotta Love the Girls

I just got the new Indigo Girls album, Despite Our Differences, and the lyrics of the first song were enough to feel as though it was money well spent. I could listen to this verse again and again and again....

"...they left out the sisters
praying to a father god so long I really missed her
The goddess of benevolence..."

Ahhhh........music for the soul.

There's Shit in that Meat!

I, like Mary Beth, just finished reading Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser and am finding the effects long lasting! I cannot look at meat without reciting that famous line in the book, "There's shit in that meat."

The description of the meat packing industry is enough to keep you from eating meat, let alone the toxic, predatory corporate and consumer tactics these companies employ. The book was horrifying with just its non-illustrated text, but now there is a movie.

Goodbye tasty hamburgers, hello vegetarianism!

Project Chacocente

A good friend of mine from missonary days in Nicaragua is working on a base community project called, Chacocente. Currently they are trying to raise $15,000 to dig a well, since there are times when the community will go up to 15 days without water.

It is an amazing project and I encourage you to check it out and give online at:

http://www.outofthedump.org/give.html

1984

Is it me or are we living in Orwell's 1984?

Last night Josh and I watched the shameless propaganda piece on ABC about the events leading up to the terrorist attacks on 9/11. The whole mockumentary felt like one big government ad about the benefits of domestic spying. It was almost like a fundy church morality play:

Det. John: "Let's get those *****!"

Govt. Official Dan: "Well, John, we would like to, but we can't open that laptop without a warrant. Domestic spying is bad...though if it ever became legal you wouldn't have to worry about terrorism again!"

Det. John: "Gee, Dan, I sure hope there will be a real man's govt. one day that will finally legalize domestic spying so we can get the bad guys!"

You might think I am being overly sarcastic and cynical, but some of the dialogue is taken from scenes from last night. Watch for yourself. The conclusion runs tonight on ABC.

A Taste of College Football

Today I convinced Josh to go ahead and spend the money to get last-minute tickets for the Clemson/BC game. Josh has waited years for this. Ever since they added BC to the ACC (I think this is the correct terminology), Josh has waited with baited breath for his beloved Tigers to come to Boston.

Each fall he ritually watches games via the web and obsessively checks stats. Over the years I have heard fabled stories about Death Valley and the 1981 championship team (which Josh saw play once). I even went and paid homage to the mythic stadium in the first months of our relationship. So, of course, I had to go with him.

Getting the tickets was anxiety provoking enough for me...thank you Craigslist for coming through at the LAST minute...but the game was even more nerve wrecking. While Clemson came out strong, it became quite clear that the two injured defensive linesmen were sorely missed. Josh, though he hardly let it show, was on the edge of his seat and secretly elated to be there.

The game went into double over time and Clemson lost by just one point. It was heartbreaking, really, and I don't really care about Clemson...just Josh.

All in all I am glad we did it. Our seats were great. Josh had fun. It was more exciting than reading the Marks of Methodism and I finally got to share part of the Clemson excitement that Josh so loves. We are even contemplating planning Thanksgiving in SC around a Clemson game!

The Evil of Feminism

I occasionally troll the conservative websites in our denomination just to see what they are up to. I have been waiting to see their reaction to the Clergywomen's Consultation, but have found them absolutely silent on the matter.

Instead, today, I found this thrilling article on feminism, "Stirring the Cauldron of Radical Feminism" about the ridiculous nature of women's studies and the founding of a new university group of conservative women.

It made me both laugh and feel nauseous all at once. The statements were so over-the-top and reactionary it was funny. Yet, these types of sensationalist articles, written without any depth of knowledge of feminism, gender studies or the like, are dangerous to women. They distort feminism for their own benefit, tricking women into not even becoming educated. What is wrong with a little education in the area of gender???

PS
By the way, when I spell checked the article, the computer notified me that "clergywomen" was spelled incorrectly. The correct spelling I was given was "clergymen." Who needs feminism?!?!?

Loving the Political Life

I have worked just three days at my new temporary consulting job as the Religious Outreach Coordinator for MassEquality and I LOVE IT!!!

I am still getting used to working in an office. People actually talk to you and interrupt your work?!?! But it is so engaging and energizing. There is something happening all the time in the office...and I mean all the time...I leave at 6 PM and folks are just arriving to begin their work.

The flow of volunteers and advocates in and out of the office is inpiring and encouraging. So many people working so hard for one cause!! It is hopeful in the midst of a nation and culture which all too often leaves no space for hope. At least now listening to the incessant news reports of war, bombings, hate crimes, anti-gay state and federal laws, poverty, and oppression, I have a little slice of hope to buoy me up because I know that there are small groups of dedicated and passionate indiviudals creating change in the world and bringing forth a little bit of kin-dom for us all.

No More Vacation

Last week I spent my time driving on the open road from Boston to Denver. Visiting old friends (Sue and Julie; Matt and Pauletta) and making new ones along the way (Jan and Lisa and their delightful children, Emma and Jesse), Julie and I traveled over 2000 miles. (Yes, it is true. I left Josh and the boys behind for a women only vacation.)

Four days on the road gives you plenty of time to talk and talk we did....we planned the revolution of the UMC, created our dream team for General Conference, and concocted brilliant protest/witness plans involving cowboys, dismembered body parts and biblically based sign-acts springing from Deut. 23:1. Captive in our car, we made ourselves laugh until we cried! It is interesting how funny you find yourself when isolated from the rest of the world!

Once in Denver we continued the fun traveling to Royal Gorge, passing on the daily hangings advertised at Buckskin Joe's, stopping by the famous store, "Fluff Em, Buff Em, Stuff Em," wandering through the Garden of the Gods during a thunderous rain storm, drinking lithium laced water, purifying the Focus on the Family compound, touring the Celestial Seasonings' factory, meeting up with Village people, Val and Amy, coasting through Trail Ridge Road, climbing Mt. Evans (okay, so we drove the first 28 miles and walked the last 1/2 mile!), and spotting wildlife such as marmots, white shaggy mountain goats, bighorn sheep, and elk!

Now it is back to work...12 hour work days split between three tasks...propsectus, church and MassEquality. But never fear...one more vacation is on the horizon...Josh and I are heading to his brother's wedding in South Carolina in two weeks!

Our Dogs Are Not Beasts

This morning we had a real test on how well my training has gone this summer learning to be Alpha Female of the pack.

I had the dogs in a "sit-stay" on the back porch while I took out the trash. It was early in the morning...not a soul on the street...that is until a woman and her husky rounded the corner. Before I knew what was happening both our dogs were barking and flying to greet the dog.

At this point, the woman FREAKS OUT. I cannot overexaggerate her absolute PANIC. She begins screaming and shielding her dog, yelling "GET YOUR DOGS! GET YOUR DOGS!!! My dog is not good on leash!" She was completely OVER-REACTING and freaking out all dogs involved. Not to mention at this point my dogs were both in our driveway!!

I, on the other hand, after a summer of training, yelled "NO! INSIDE!" and pretty much immediately both dogs turned and ran back to the porch.

The astonishing part of this whole scenario is that in fact I did not expect my dogs to listen. I was sure we were going to end up in some awful comedic/tragic situation with my dogs running through the neighborhood for hours. Yet, the lesson learned is that my dogs can behave. I can be alpha. Training works.

Our dogs are not beasts!

Scroll Down for Mary Beth's Book Tag

Mary Beth tagged us a while ago; scroll down to August 11th for our answers.

New Job(s)

As September approached I was clear with myself that I would take on NO new responsibilities. It was time to write the prospectus and get moving on my dissertation. I had one last fling planned for the last week in August as I prepared to drive to Denver with Julie....BUT THAT WAS IT!! No more distractions! I was firm in my resolve.

Then, I went to the Reconciling Ministries Clergy gathering and was surprised by the invitation to take on the responsibility of serving as co-convener of the group and serving on the Reconciling Ministries Board. Six more meetings a year? Traveling around the country? Being with my "church?" Sure! No problem. What's a little more travel and internet collaboration??? I'm not doing that much, right?

Then, I returned home only to find a message on my phone from MassEquality and the Religious Coalition for the Freedom to Marry....they invited me to be a temporary Religious Consultant for MassEquality as they go into the next constitutional convention. While folks outside of MA may think we have won the battle for same-sex marriage, we are far from securing it. The religious right is determined to put marriage equality up for a popular vote, making vulnerable the civil rights of a minority to the whims of the majority. Don't get me started...

Back to the job saga....I was determined when I heard the message to say "NO." I have a dissertation to finish. But when I heard the job description and the bonus salary and the thought of it being only two months...I could not resist!

So much for cutting back on my work...yet, I confess I am secretly elated. While I know from all the clergy manuals on "self-care" I should have more "self-discpline" and "create space and time for myself," I THRIVE on being busy. I love it!

So off I go...

The E1505 It Is

Here is the computer (more or less) I bought from dell. We got it on a stealth internet sale for $900. It has most everything I wanted and some more.

Now the hard part comes in learning to use it!

Computer Chaos

Well, it finally happened. My sad, sorry, pathetic laptop finally breathed its last. Its death was not unexpected, but inconvenient to say the least as it chose to go during the clergy women's consultation PRIOR to my having finished my lecture and handouts!!

Its death prompted me to begin looking for a new laptop. I don't need anything fancy...just a decent speed, sufficient memory for my dissertation and internet capability. Not much to ask. The search should be easy, right?

WRONG!!!

I am convinced that computer retail sites make it chaotic and complicated to purchase a computer to confuse you into buying more than you need.

I have spent the past four days agonizing over what computer to buy. Going back and forth over the pros and cons, weighing the decision to buy a warranty or not, switching screens a million times to compare different models, trying to figure out the exact difference between "Latitude" and "Inspirion," (which to my best knowledge is not anything more than the name...though Josh swears there's more) and generally making myself nauseus with the thought of spending so much money in one place.

I think I finally have it narrowed down to two versions of the same computer...Dell Inspiron E1505.

Of course, now it will not arrive in time for my first day at my new temporary job at MassEquality...more on that to come later.

The Pride and Shame of Being United Methodist

This week I abandoned Josh and the dogs to head to Chicago for the International Clergywomen's Consultation.

I arrived at the clergywomen's conference having heard nothing but raves about this quadrennial gathering of women from around the globe. Words like FABULOUS, CUTTING-EDGE, FANTASTIC, INSPIRATIONAL and even FEMINIST were used to describe this meeting. Yet, when I arrived I was disappointed to find that hardly any characterized this year's gathering.

From the opening worship, in which the scripture was read using male language for God, I knew this was not to be the feminist space for which I longed. For most of the conference, I sat in the back and bemoaned my vision of a progressive, politically charged conference that dealt with the pressing issues facing the church today.

Here are just a few snapshots of what distressed me:

1. Non-inclusive language at a women's conference
2. Traditional gender stereotypes (Pink as the theme color; activities such as decorating the banquet tables and talking about "what food we eat when we want to feel loved")
3. The palpable resistance to uttering the "L" word from conference leaders
4. A racist liturgical dance in which God, portrayed by a white woman, pulled in line God's disobedient children, african american dancers who moved to an African beat

As the days wore on, I began to realize that my hope for the UMC to be a progressive, justice seeking faith community did not match the reality. The UMC is moderate at best and I stand on the fringes as a progressive, feminist.

Yet, I must confess, there were some who rebelled against the conference's seeming censorship of certain topics.

While the preachers had rallied the congregation with visions of an inclusive church, their failure to mention the continued exclusion and oppression of GLBT persons hung heavy. In response, a small group of us began to gather and plan. We brought in doors decorated by Reconciling congregations and wrote a petition that came to be known as the "Bloody Knuckles Petition." We organized an ad hoc choir and wrangled a handful of volunteers flooding out from the evening session. By morning we had a movement in action.

As women gathered the next morning they passed through an angelic choir singing "Seek Ye First," to find a bold sign proclaiming, "Closed Doors,. Broken Hearts. We Mind." At the entrance to the convention center we stood holding the decorated doors and handing out copies of the petition.

This action seemed to release the energy of the conference and make space for the Spirit to move. While in days past the words, "gay" and "lesbian," had been markedly missing, after our action, the words began to trickle in to the thunderous appluase of the congregation who had been thristy for such a word.

Rev. Jane Ann Stoneburner Moore was the first to break the silence at the banquet as she lifted up our call to care for those in need, including lesbian couples. The following day, Rev. Rebecca Parker continued as she articulated the racism and heterosexism that was present. Finally, we heard it from the bishops when Bishop Minerva Carcano talked explicitly about the pain of exclusion and the call to ministry in the midst of a "violent and unrepenting church."

As the days followed, we organized a witness for peace and were able to voice support for Elvira Arellano, a woman seeking sanctuary in a local UMC after being targeted for deportation by homeland security officials. Later Bishop Carcano spoke on CNN on Lou Dobbs program and was AMAZING!

Perhaps there is hope after all......

We're It!

Mary Beth tagged us both for this cyber quiz. Check out our answers. Mine are in RED and Josh's in BLUE.

1. One book that changed your life.
In 11th grade my American History teacher gave us assigned summer reading on both the women's liberation movement and the struggle for civil rights. I can see both covers clearly, but for the life of me cannot remember the names of either one. Both are currently packed in storage, along with all the other non-dissertation related books.

These books were an ontological shock to me having been raised in a white, middle-class, Republican household. I remember thinking..."wow, this is why things seem so different for me as a girl." It was an AHA moment.

The Long Loneliness - Dorothy Day.

2. One book you've read more than once.
A Wrinkle in Time: I love this book, although it gave me nightmares in elementary school!

The Lord of the Rings - about 30 times.

3. One book you would want on a desert island.
The Series of Unfortunate Events Series: I would read them over and over trying to pick up all the literary allusions, puns and clues I missed the first time through.

Engineering for Dummies

4. One book that made you laugh.
Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress by Susan Gilman: This memoir by a feminist 30-something had me in stitches on the plane. I knew exactly what she was talking about at every turn!!

Bunnicula

5. One book that made you cry.
The Weight of Water by Anita Shreve: I sobbed for days after reading that book. No redemption or resurrection in sight!!!

Incidentally I also cried at the end of Love by Toni Morrison but for exactly the opposite reason....there was incredible resurrection at the end.

The Lord of the Rings - The Ride of the Rohirrim to certain death and Tolkien's use of Anglo-Saxon poetic meter to describe their charge onto the field gets me every time.

6. One book that you wish had been written.
My complete family history. There are tremendous gaps and myths circulating on both sides of my family that I would like to fill in.

A History of Lost Civilizations - Angkor Wat, Mohenjo Daro, The Mayans, Great Zimbabwe, Etrucscans, Ancient Celts, Scythians, Easter Island, etc. Who were they and what were they like?

7. One book you wish had never been written.
Purpose Driven Life: I find this type of felt-needs, motivational theology lacking to say the least. You could probably add to this list anything published by Focus on the Family or the ilk. These books are oppressive.

Revelation - John of Patmos was undoubtedly eating the wrong mushrooms growing in his cave. And it's influence has been dramatic and deleterious on many forms of American Christianity.

8. One book you are currently reading.
Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith by Anne Lamott

The Dante Club - Matthew Pearl

9. One book you have been meaning to read.
Just about every one of my queer, wesleyan and ecclesiology theology books I bought last spring in hopes of finishing my prospectus and beginning my dissertation.

The Ants - E.O. Wilson

10. Now tag five people.
I don't know how we feel about this tagging business...

Atheist v. Christians

Last night we watched a re-run of the 30 Days episode entitled, Atheist v. Christian. The program itself is a fascinating concept. Produced by Morgan Spurlock, the creator of Super Size Me, the program explores what happens when people with seemingly diametrically opposed views live together. Past episodes have included a "Minuteman" border patrol volunteer living with an "illegal" immigrant family and a man who lost his job to outsourcing living with the family in India that took his job.

Watching this particular episode was all too painful for both of us. Neither of us are naive to the embarrassing way most of Christianity presents itself, yet somehow, watching this group of Christians struggle with understanding the mere concept of atheism made us both even more excruciatingly aware of the inability of many Christians to understand the Other.

As the Christians questioned the token atheist about her life and beliefs, it became clear that they could not comprehend life outside of a biblically mandated structure. They seemed baffled to understand how she could live without the guidance of some text to show her exactly what to do, how to do it and when to do. For them Christianity was a tool for creating structure in what seemed to them to be an utterly chaotic and dangerous world without the help of Divine guidance.

It seemed so shallow.

Christianity has to be more than a mere instruction book on life. If all our faith was meant to do was to teach us rules to live by, what does that say about the nature of humanity? Does God think we are too stupid to learn/evolve/grow/change/navigate the world, that we need a step by step guide? I don't think so.

I think the beauty of the Christian faith is its intentional wrestling with the complexities and ambiguities of the world in which we live. The Bible is not a step by step instruction booklet, but rather a text that teaches us how to learn. Christianity is not about giving us the answers, but rather about helping us to struggle with the questions.

Check out the episode while it is still running on cable....

Atheist/Christian [encore]

8/13/2006 at 11:59PM E/P on FX

Atheist/Christian [encore]
8/14/2006 at 11:30PM E/P on FX

Don't miss the segment on Biblically Correct Tours and Holy Land Amusement Park. It was enough to make us both sick!

New Be-Dazzling Blog

Our friend, Xochitl, has created a new blog that ya'll should check out entitled, Solidaridad. It is now linked via her name on my side bar.

Theological, insightful and Wickedly Wild, the blog leaps from Mary Daly's theology/philosophy into reflections on what it means to be christian and part of the church today.

You might also check out the online Wickedary, an online, abbreviated version of one of Daly's original works that defines many of her key terms. It is fun and fascinating.