Monday, November 13, 2006

Awwwwwww....

With only 4 days left until my prospectus and my speech for the Dempster Banquet at AAR are due, I am all over web surfing.

This photo came from a site Josh showed me, called "Cute Overload." I have to admit that in general, I am not a cutesy person, but these photos are enough to soothe my anxious soul and help me re-focus on all the work I have to accomplish by Thursday night at midnight!!

Trust me, it's cute!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Growing Together

Josh and I have not yet been able to eat these carrots that came as part of our last CSA share for the year.

The beauty of their intertwined lives makes it hard for us to tear them apart for a mere salad.

Just one more miracle of the Earth that teaches us what it means to be alive!

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Hooray for Marriage!!

Marriage equality has been preserved in Massachusetts! This Thursday, the state legislature narrowly avoided a vote to place marriage equality on the state ballot in 2008. Civil marriage is a civil right that comes with over 1500 benefits, rights and privileges. To ban it, does not ban same-sex families, they have existed for years and will continue to exist. The difference civil marriage makes is whether or not these families will be protected by the law.

After working for over 4 years here in MA to secure marriage rights for all people, you might imagine that I feel ecstatic, excited and elated, but I must confess, mostly I feel relieved. It is finally over.

We have put in thousands of hours of time and millions of dollars of support to secure the right to love. It seems silly, quite frankly, the herculean efforts that have had to be mustered simply to allow people to marry whom they wish to marry. After all these years, I still struggle to understand why two people marrying is such a threat. How deos same-sex marriage destroy heterosexual marriage? How are children harmed by loving parents? How is our social fabric threatened by the creation of stable, commited families? I just don't get it.

Yesterday, while waiting in line at the State House an opponent of same-sex marriage valiently tried to explain the reasons why to me. Seeing my collar, he felt obliged to engage me as part of saving my soul. Polite, respectful and calm, he told me it was simply a matter of God's "Absolute Value" (which he depicted for me as a vertical line coming down from heaven). My problem, he was good enough to point out, was that in ministering to gay folk, I was mistakenly "giving myself away to others" (which he depicted as a horizontal line moving away from the vertical line descending from heaven) and that was contrary to God's will and "Absolute Value." Funny, I thought that's what Jesus did?

As we continued the conversation, it became clear that he had a magical access, to this purported "Absolute Value" that I did not have. He was not moved or swayed by the Wesleyan quadrilateral and seemed to shutter at the thought of ongoing revelation. He was quite clear that God gave us specific gender roles to which we are obligated to conform, whether we like it or not. If only I would stop helping others, I could know God's Absolute Value and be saved.

It never ceases to amaze people our own human hubris in imagining that we somehow know the mind of God as absolute, direct and unchanging.

Monday, November 06, 2006

I Can't Believe It!!!???!!!??

I can't believe it!

Daniel won!!!!! The Sandinistas have come back!!

I can't believe it!

This week, leading up to the Nicaraguan elections, I have been trying to hold at bay my hope that the Daniel Ortega, former revolutionary and president of Nicaragua would win the elections 16 years after being ousted by the US government. (During the elections, the US government promised to end the Contra war if they defeated Ortega in the polls. What kind of choice is that? War? Or a new president? You choose.)

Could it possibly happen? No, not with the continued intervention and threats of the US.

But it did!!!

Daniel's victory marks the end of fear and intimidation by the US and the turn from capitalist politics that only benefit the rich, to the return of the revolucion and the politics of the people. Under Daniel's last presidency he vaccinated the entire country, taught the populace how to read , set up health centers throughout the country, distributed the land to the poor who had been slaves of large plantation owners for decades, bought private utility companies so that they the people could afford clean water, electricity and gas, and offered a wide array of social services for the poor. During the 1980's the international community flocked to Nica to see this new type of government in action. Despite having to fight a US sponsored war (the Contra War...remember the Iran Contra Scandal), the government succeeded in being a government for the poor.

Overly idealistic? Of course, I am. But who couldn't be given the history of the Nicaraguan people and the dream they realized, if only for a decade, of a government that actually benefited the poor.

Can it be?

As I watch the web page psuedo-celebration, I cannot hold back the tears.

In celebration of the day, take a moment to listen to the love song of the revolucion, Nicaragua, Nicaraguita, a folk song by Carlos Mejia Godoy. The lyrics are below.

Ay Nicaragua, Nicaraguita
La flor mas linda de mi querer
Abonada con la bendita, Nicaraguita,
Sangre de Diriangen.

Ay Nicaragua sos mas dulcita
Que la mielita de Tamagas
Pero ahora que ya sos libre, Nicaraguita,
Yo te quiero mucho mas
Pero ahora que ya sos libre, Nicaraguita,
Yo te quiero mucho mas

Oh Nicaragua Nicaraguita
most beautiful flower of my love
fertilized with the blessed blood of Diriangen

Oh Nicaragua you are even sweeter
Than the honey from Tamagas
But now that you are free
Nicaraguita
I love you much more
But now that you are free
Nicaraguita
I love you much more

Viva la revolucion!!

Friday, November 03, 2006

How Very Sad

Yesterday much of the reaction I heard about Ted Haggard, the evangelical leader who was caught in a sex scandal was laughter. It seemed both ironic and comical that a man who spent so much of his time preaching hate against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender folks would be, himself, caught up in a torid gay sex scandal.

Yet, I have to admit, that my reaction is just pure saddness. How very sad that we live in a society (and Church) that evokes so much shame and fear around sexuality, that people are cowered into living a lie. Haggard not only hid his sexuality but turned his own internalized homophobia on the queer community, working out his own issues with such vitriolic rhetoric towards those who were honest with themselves and the world about their sexuality.

I fear that this type of public outing will do no one any good. I imagine that Haggard will repent of his "sexual sin," tell his faithful followers he backslid, attend a "homo-no-mo" program, and encourage parents to send their youth to these reparative therapy camps as soon as possible. I can only imagine the message his children will get through all of this. If any were ever to come out, they surely would not now.

No one wins.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Trick? or Treat?

Halloween used to be a harmless day when kids would go out dressed as pirates, princesses and superheroes to collect candy from friends and neighbors. Sadly, many American children no longer get to participate in this lighthearted holiday. Their conscientious parents stand as examples of the truth a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

Their parents have been told that the dark and evil religion of the ancient Celts threatens to corrupt their children’s souls. Rather than a quaint folkway that has outlived its historical roots, it is a sinister scheme devised by the devil in order to seduce children into the dark web of the occult and the demonic. You can almost hear Satan’s laughter at the brilliance of his diabolical plan --a diabolical plan that has all the subtlety of a conspiracy of Skeletor or Cobra Commander.

According to this plan, there are Druids or Wiccans about just waiting to seduce your child into a world of Celtic chants and an appreciation of nature. Druids, far from being extinct or having their religion transformed into the stuff of banal, New Age self-help books, have in secret been executing their dark master’s plan to seduce the youth of America. If your son or daughter uses a term like “solstice” or “equinox” it may already be too late.

Christianity’s complete and utter defeat of paganism throughout Europe during the course of the Middle Ages was only an illusion. The derisive term the Christians used for the rubes in the countryside-- “pagan” --was secretly a badge of pride to these unbelievers and devil worshippers. They hid while the sword of Christendom threatened to send them into the hereafter, waiting until the vigilance of God’s followers relaxed and they could find a cultural crevice in which to insinuate themselves. This crevice has been wedged open by snack size candy bars and cheap plastic costumes, and their dreadful scourge manifests itself every time a child licks their candy-stickied fingers.

Apparently the joy and happiness I felt as child, costumed and sugared-up, and that I have witnessed in others was completely naïve. It was a superficial deception in a demonic gambit for my soul. Even though it felt good, made me happy and holds a warm place in my memory I was deceived. These feelings should have been tempered by obscure biblical commands condemning witchcraft, although I hesitate to speculate whether my Bunny Rabbit or Batman costume was more demonic.

I do not believe this. The perversion of Halloween is not by dark spiritual forces, but by fundamentalist fear mongers obsessed with their own puritanical consciences to the point of demonizing a harmless cultural anachronism. But they are partially right; there is a witchcraft to Halloween. The day has a power to weave spells of laughter in the faces of children and joy in their hearts, but I guess unfettered joy is too frightening for some people. - posted by jga

Friday, October 27, 2006

Hasta Los Huesos

The immediate inspiration for Josh's post on the Day of the Dead comes from a Mexican claymation short entitled, Hasta Los Huesos.

I tried to incorporate this link into Josh's post, but it did not work. So, here it is on it's own.

Enjoy!

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Approaching the Day of the Dead

In about a week one the best holidays in North America takes place: Dia de los Muertos (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Day_of_the_Dead ). A pre-colonial holiday that survived the Conquistadors, the spiritual conquests of the Church Militant and the concomitant collapse of Mesoamerica's indigenous civilizations --a fitting history for a holiday whose central purpose is honoring the spirits of those who have come before.

An industrialized culture whose members must show up for their shift or incur the wrath of "The Man" has no time, no space to spend a few days reflecting on deceased love ones or the continuity of memory with the past. Memory preserves the dead from oblivion, enlarges the community and the world that we move through, connecting us to people and spaces beyond ourselves.

The celebration of memory is the admission of mortality. Taking time to remember what has passed confronts us with the threat of our own passing. In our culture, Christianity is often applied as an anaesthetic to this fact. Death is made illusory by the promise of paradise, or even worse, life is. Memory holds life and death in tension. A culture of memory sustains the living with the promise that death will not cause them to lose their place in the community.

This trait is uniquely isolated from much of the rest of the Christian ethos in the Eucharist. Jesus remains continually embodied and relatable in the quotidian human need to eat. As much as his followers may cast their cares at his feet, Jesus remains human: He weeps. He gets angry. He gets tired. He loves. He eats. He dies.

Dia de los Muertos also preserves the humanity of those who have died. Favorite candies are laid out for the dead or pillows for spirits that have traveled far. A spiritual world no longer touched by human concerns is nihilistic, an escapist fantasy. Subjected to a pristine heaven the Saints join the pantheon as demigods in God’s feudal service while the more mundane among us disappear into the celestial ether.

Celebration of the Day of the Dead is neither morbid nor gloomy. It is in fact a celebration of life, an affirmation of this life. The best thing is to be remembered within the context of a community by those who loved you not to deny death by acquiescing to a wish for a painless immortality. The “bliss” of a world beyond this one has no meaning except to express a this-worldly desire for a cessation of struggle and suffering or for a perfect, unchanging happiness.

The problem is that a posthumous return to Eden is a relevant idea only in binary relation to the concerns of this world, and only as a desire originating from this world. It is an exemplification of the Jewish and Christian idea that Death is an evil. It is not an evil when it is held in tension with the fact that life is pregnant with its own finitude. It is the unbearable lightness that underlines the length of our days and so lends our days their gravity.

Conversely, the denial of death’s reality is also the denial of this life’s richness. It is a discontented hope that longs for a cup where no bitter is intermingled with the sweet. It fails to understand that the sweet contains within itself its own bitterness. A celebration of memory such as the Day of the Dead wholistically encompasses this dynamic. Remembering ancestors in this way recognizes the cycle of life and death. It honors the embedded-ness of human concerns and celebrates a community whose past stretches into the depths of time and forward to an unknown horizon. --jga

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Measuring Life's Moments

I shamelessly stole this off Mary Beth's website...it was easier than replying in her comment section. The list includes 100 things to do in life. The ones I have done are in red. The ones Josh has done are in blue. If we have both done it, then, you guessed it...purple.

What have you done?

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink

02. Swam with wild dolphins

03. Climbed a mountain

04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive

05. Been inside the Great Pyramid

06. Held a tarantula

07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone

08. Said “I love you’ and meant it!

09. Hugged a tree

10. Bungee jumped

11. Visited Paris

12. Watched a lightning storm at sea

13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise

14. Seen the Northern Lights

15. Gone to a huge sports game

16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa

17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables

18. Touched an iceberg

19. Slept under the stars

20. Changed a baby’s diaper

21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon

22. Watched a meteor shower

23. Gotten drunk on champagne

24. Given more than you can afford to charity

25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope

26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment

27. Had a food fight

28. Bet on a winning horse

29. Asked out a stranger

30. Had a snowball fight

31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can

32. Held a lamb

33. Seen a total eclipse

34. Ridden a roller coaster

35. Hit a home run

36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking

37. Adopted an accent for an entire day

38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment

39. Visited all 50 states

40. Taken care of someone who was drunk

41. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country

42. Watched wild whales

43. Stolen a sign

44. Backpacked in Europe

45. Taken a road-trip

46. Gone rock climbing

48. Midnight walk on the beach

49. Gone sky diving

50. Taken a train through Europe

51. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love

52. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table, and had a meal with them

53. Milked a cow

54. Alphabetized your CDs

55. Sung karaoke

56. Lounged around in bed all day

57. Gone scuba diving

58. Kissed in the rain

59. Gone to a drive-in theatre

60. Started a business

61. Taken a martial arts class

62. Been in a movie

63. Crashed a party

64. Gone without food for 5 days (fasting for SOAW)

65. Gotten a tattoo

66. Got flowers for no reason

67. Performed on stage

68. Been to Las Vegas

69. Recorded music (this is stunning for those of you who have heard me in church!)

70. Eaten shark

71. Buried one/both of your parents

72. Been on a cruise ship

73. Spoken more than one language fluently

74. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over

75. Been to the Statue of Liberty

76. Had plastic surgery

77. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived

78. Wrote articles for a large publication

77. Lost over 20 pounds

79. Piloted an airplane

80. Petted a stingray

81. Broken someone’s heart

82. Broken a bone

83. Eaten sushi

84. Had your picture in the newspaper

85. Parasailed

86. Skipped all your school reunions

87. Shaved your head

88. Caused a car accident

89. Pretended to be "sick"

90. Surfed in the ocean

91. Saved someone's life

92. Fainted

93. Been in the room while someone is giving birth

94. Hitchhiked

95. Adopted a child (foster kid)

96. Been caught daydreaming

97. Been to the Grand Canyon

98. Called off a wedding engagement

99. Donated your blood

100. Become a follower of Jesus Christ

Monday, October 23, 2006

Yummy!

Pumpkin Spice creamer is the best!

I could subsist on coffee alone for days on end with this delightful product!!!

Why Marriage Matters

This is why marriage matters.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Off to Tenants Harbor


I'm off to Tenant's Harbor today! For the past 8 years I have been going to Tenants Harbor in October and January with the Wild Women, my clergywomen's group. Originally designed for Advent and Lent planning, we meet under the auspice of the Women's Inspirational Liturgical Delegation.

In the past few years, we have not been able to arrange schedules/family/traveling etc. to meet. It wasn't until I started getting ready for this trip that I realized how very much I miss our annual gatherings in Maine. This year I can only go for a day, not even 24 hours, but it is worth the drive!!

As I packed this morning, I became aware of how much ritual surrounds that time and space for me. I made sure to pack my Tenants Harbor sweater, a big wool monster of a cardigan that adds about 10 pounds and 20 inches to the wearer. It is a sweater I bought when I was a senior in high school and visiting Boston for the Harvard Model UN. I bought it at the kiosk that still exists in the Harvard Square T-stop. At first, I brought the sweater because it was warm, but now I can't imagine being there without it!

Also included in the ritual clothing are my favorite sweat pants. Given to me by an ex-boyfriend, they are not pretty. "Guilford Lacrosse" is written down the leg and motled by stains here and there. Yet, they are the most comfortable and cozy sweat pants I have ever worn. Perfect for a chilly Maine cottage!

Food rituals also abound. I had to make sure I had the seasame sticks and dried fruit from Wild Harvest before I left.

It is good to have space like this!

Thursday, October 19, 2006

What Would You Do With $100 Million Dollars?

What would you do with $100 million dollars?

Focus on the Family, the National Family Research Council and other right-wing religious groups have amassed just this much money.

Now, as Christian organizations, you might suppose they would follow Jesus' instructions to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and shelter the homeless (see Matthew 25). Imagine all the work they could do to alleviate poverty, provide adequate healthcare, build affordable housing. Just think how many soup kitchens, shelters, clinics, schools, and training centers they could support with all that money!

But, no, they are not using the money for any of those needs.

Instead of feeding the hungry, clothing the naked and sheltering the homeless, this conservative Christian coalition has decided to use all that money for "Ground Zero." Before you think this is related to 9-11, they mean "Ground Zero" for marriage, my home state, Massachusetts.

One hundred million dollars is currrently set aside to run an advertising campaign in Massachusetts maligning same-sex families and their children. If the constitutional convention on November 9th passes the anti-gay ballot initiative, this coalition plans to spend the already collected $100 million dollars on a campaign of hate.

Hmmm, feed the hungry? Propagate hate? Decisions are hard for some christians!

Monday, October 16, 2006

Knitting Nirvana

Last year I discovered the joy of knitting and have once again, as the weather has grown colder, re-discovered the nirvana of knitting.

While my life is mostly characterized my insane busi-ness, knitting allows me to zone out. The repetitive motion is soothing, calming, relaxing. My mind is allowed to wander as my fingers move back and forth. And the best part is I can knit wherever and whenever...in front of the TV, in the car, at get-togethers, in waiting rooms...the possibilities are endless.

There is something indeed spiritual about the practice of knitting. No other activity can settle me as knitting. There is a peace that I find in the rhythm of the stitch that soothes and comforts me, allowing me to move beyond the chaos of my life and find focus, clarity and a sense of being firmly grounded.

Pictured are just my projects from this past month...five scarves. Josh believes since I can whip out the scarves so quickly, I ought to move on to a more complicated project...namely a sweater for him. But, he is missing the point. For me it is not what I produce (though it saves money come Christmas gift-giving time!), but rather the process. To do something more complicated would mean I would actually have to pay attention to what I was doing and that would defeat the whole relaxing aspect of knitting. I knit to slow down, not to stress about the stitches.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Best Boston Movie Evah!

Last night Josh and I went to see the Scorsese film, The Departed, with Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson and Leonardo Di Caprio. We had heard the hype while they were filming in Boston a few years back and I must confess it lived up to its reputation as being a true Boston movie.

Despite my distaste for violence, bloodshed and mayhem in movies, I have to confess I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. The dialogue and banter was just right, the shots of the city were perfect, the allusions to Boston life were right on (including a North Shore/South Shore tension and the reputation of the Fenway), and they even had a beautiful shot of the Big Dig's finished bridge and Storrow drive exit.

I don't think I have ever laughed that hard at a violent film! There is something about seeing a Boston film in Boston in a jaded urbanite culture that somehow makes you lose sight of actually what is being depicted on the screen (i.e. violence, bloodshed and mayhem). As urban Bostonians we got all the side jokes and could relate to the life they depicted (well, except perhaps for the violence, bloodshed and mayhem...after all, we saw it in Somerville, not Southie!)

While Josh said he needs to see it again to make his final rating of it as a film, we both recommend this movie, particularly to ex-Bostonians...but be warned it is not for the faint hearted.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Another Fall Meal

I really do need to work on plating my dishes. I watch Hell's Kitchen and the Iron Chef and still my plates look less than appetizing!!!

The menu for last night was squash casserole (one of Josh's favorite southern concoctions of butter with vegetables that I had never eaten before, let alone made!), red cabbage with apples and onion, mashed sweet potatoes and sweet potato pie. I cooked way too many sweet potatoes and so ended up with three pies and mashed potatoes!!!

The fried things are fried mushrooms that Josh brought back from Red's Eats. While I worked hard on my prospectus (sigh), Josh went with friends to Wiscasset, ME where they have the absolute best lobster rolls! Since lobster does not travel well, I got the equally yummy fried mushrooms.

I also found today the mother load of pumpkin recipes. We still have three pumpkins from our farm waiting to be cooked! So, look for more fall meals to come!

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Not Really A Christian After All

I found out today that I am actually not a Christian.

Who knew? Following Jesus, going to seminary, being ordained...apparently none of that mattered because my faith claims don't fit the definition set by certain others.

Blog comments I made have been posted on someone else's blog (you probably all know who I mean) as an example of Christians who aren't really Christians. I guess I join the ranks of "non-christians" and "god-haters." Excellent!

You'd think I might be a little agitated, but quite frankly, I'm glad I didn't make their cut!

Friday, October 06, 2006

A Very Fall Meal

The photo does not look as appetizing as the smells were last night.

I felt very "fall" as I made a vegetarian meal of fresh sauteed pumpkin, potato pancakes, and fresh greens. The pancakes were even garnished with homemade applasauce.

Yum!

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Poor Cletus

Poor Cletus! Our pooch is once again sick. He has chronic ear infections, stomach problems and severe allergies. The vet thinks he is just sensitive. Josh thinks he has issues.

This week it has been uncontrollable poo...we lost a rug in the process and our house has that awful stench of rose-scented candles, barely masking the nasty leftovers of his illness. Lovely.

And we have a house guest for the weekend! Sorry.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

The War on Error

This is crazy!

I Think I Found It!

So, I think I found a new TV addiction. While I received many suggestions for new shows, I think it is going to come down to Monday nights...not football (particularly after the Bengals' crushing defeat), but rather HEROES.

It is a new show on NBC about ordinary people around the globe who begin to discover extraordinary powers. The cast of characters is great! There is the cheerleader whose body cannot be hurt...broken, burnt and mangled she re-generates time and time again; the nerdy Japanese man, Hiro, who likens his ability to bend time and space to his favorite show, Star Trek; the druggee artist who paints the future; the pair of brothers, one a politician, the other a slacker, who discover they can fly; Weiss, from Alias, who is now a policeofficer who can hear people's thoughts; and my personal favorite, who definately gets the vote of most intriguing, the stripper who turns Hulk-like when she is angry. She blacks out each time only to wake up and find a mass of dead people around her.

It is suspenseful, interesting and completely out of touch with reality. The perfect show in which to lose myself.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

The Buddha Says

Lately it seems my life is full of struggles, whether it is struggling in the Church for a place at the table, struggling in the state to protect marriage equality or struggling in the academy to pass my prospectus. It has all left me angry and tired. So, I decided I needed something else spiritually that was more restful than the constant chrsitian/methodist journey toward perfection (sanctification).

I chose Buddhism.

Josh studied Buddhism for years in undergrad and gradute school and has often hinted that it might be helpful for me. So, I am reading Thich Nhat Hanh's "The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching."

I have found the buddhist process of identifying, analyzing and understanding our suffering particularly helpful in managing my own craziness of late. It is a helpful structure for reflecting on what we feel, why we feel it and how we might change it. The idea is that if we understand the source of our suffering (the ignoble ways of life that lead to our suffering) then we can begin to seek our freedom and liberation by cutting off the source (ceasing to behave in ignoble ways).

This is a VERY simplistic summary.

In my short two weeks of pseudo-buddhist practice, I have found this a great frame for dealing with some of the things that drive me the craziset. If the bishop makes me mad, then don't listen to him. Sounds easy.

Yet, I still struggle with what that means for the larger picture. If my suffering comes because of what I perceive to be unjust systems of prejudice/oppression in the church and the world, does my ceasing to participate in them lead to their end or only to my avoidance of them? What about the sources of suffering over which indivuals have no control like poverty, oppression, war, violence, discrimination, etc.? How does communal liberation come if it is only through individual patterns of noble living that we can end suffering?

Josh has convinced me buddhism has answers for all these questions and more and has told me I just need to read on.

And so I will.

Friday, September 29, 2006

In Need of an Addiction

The new season of TV has rolled around again and is conspicuously missing my guilty pleasure...Alias. For the past five years, I looked forward to one sinfully good hour a week watching a show that, despite its objectification of women and glorification of violence, was absolutely addictive!

Last year as Alias wrapped up its final season I tried to find a substitute addiction to fill the coming void. I watched Desperate Housewives, House, Grey's Anatomy, even CSI and CSI Miami. But there were no sparks. This year with a new line up I still had hope for that perfect fix...Studio 60, Heroes, Dancing with the Stars,Brothers and Sisters...yet none seem to fit.

All I want is one good show that gives me something to look forward to as I work week after week...just one hour of rest, just one hour of escape, just one hour of meaningless TV drama.

Is that so much to ask?

Monday, September 25, 2006

Who Dey

It is football season again. Usually, I dread the coming of this time of year as I prepare to lose my partner from Thursday through Monday.

But this year it's different. I actually like football. I found myself protesting last night when Josh changed the channel from the NFL game to Iron Chef. Now that's a reversal!

Some might say it is a hold out from my old cheerleading days or perhaps growing to love what my partner loves. I, however, place the blame squarely on the shoulders of the Cincinnati Bengals.

Every year since their last Super Bowl appearance (1988), I have confidently asserted that this was the year they were going to go all the way. And every year, I wince each time I say it, knowing full well that they are going to be lucky to win a couple games at most.

But not this year!!! This year they are actually winning...even beating the Steelers yesterday!!!

So bring on the football! This year is worth watching!

We are now even planning a Thanksgiving trip to South Carolina...not to see Josh's family, but to watch Clemson take on South Carolina!!

So, You Wanna Be a Ho

This week a huge lot (3,500 to 4,000 dolls) of vintage Barbies goes on the auction block at Christie's London.

As a child I had what I then believed to be the mother load of Barbies (though now in comparison it seems insignificant)...Spanish Barbie, Astronaut Barbie, Surfer Barbie, the Barbie condo, pool, RV and more. However, as a college student I began to realize the negative gender stereotypes this doll had instilled in me...perfect body, huge breasts, feet that could only wear high heels, sayings like "math is hard." You get the picture.

So, reading the article on the sale was somewhat thrilling for me...particularly when I got to this part:

"Lord pointed out that the American doll's looks were inspired by Bild Lilli, a 1950's comic strip prostitute created for the German newspaper Bild. Voluptuous figure notwithstanding, Barbie's dark past was hidden from her new US audience.

'The message for American women and little girls in the 1950s, maybe women everywhere, and maybe all women now,' said Lord, 'is that you are supposed to look like a hooker but be so wholesome.'"

I always knew something was wrong about Barbie!!! Now it makes perfect sense!

PS The title to this post comes from an old SNL skit with "Velvet Jones" played by Eddie Murphy. A classic and one of my favorites!!!


Thursday, September 21, 2006

Gotta Love the Girls

I just got the new Indigo Girls album, Despite Our Differences, and the lyrics of the first song were enough to feel as though it was money well spent. I could listen to this verse again and again and again....

"...they left out the sisters
praying to a father god so long I really missed her
The goddess of benevolence..."

Ahhhh........music for the soul.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

There's Shit in that Meat!

I, like Mary Beth, just finished reading Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser and am finding the effects long lasting! I cannot look at meat without reciting that famous line in the book, "There's shit in that meat."

The description of the meat packing industry is enough to keep you from eating meat, let alone the toxic, predatory corporate and consumer tactics these companies employ. The book was horrifying with just its non-illustrated text, but now there is a movie.

Goodbye tasty hamburgers, hello vegetarianism!

Monday, September 11, 2006

Project Chacocente

A good friend of mine from missonary days in Nicaragua is working on a base community project called, Chacocente. Currently they are trying to raise $15,000 to dig a well, since there are times when the community will go up to 15 days without water.

It is an amazing project and I encourage you to check it out and give online at:

http://www.outofthedump.org/give.html

1984

Is it me or are we living in Orwell's 1984?

Last night Josh and I watched the shameless propaganda piece on ABC about the events leading up to the terrorist attacks on 9/11. The whole mockumentary felt like one big government ad about the benefits of domestic spying. It was almost like a fundy church morality play:

Det. John: "Let's get those *****!"

Govt. Official Dan: "Well, John, we would like to, but we can't open that laptop without a warrant. Domestic spying is bad...though if it ever became legal you wouldn't have to worry about terrorism again!"

Det. John: "Gee, Dan, I sure hope there will be a real man's govt. one day that will finally legalize domestic spying so we can get the bad guys!"

You might think I am being overly sarcastic and cynical, but some of the dialogue is taken from scenes from last night. Watch for yourself. The conclusion runs tonight on ABC.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

A Taste of College Football

Today I convinced Josh to go ahead and spend the money to get last-minute tickets for the Clemson/BC game. Josh has waited years for this. Ever since they added BC to the ACC (I think this is the correct terminology), Josh has waited with baited breath for his beloved Tigers to come to Boston.

Each fall he ritually watches games via the web and obsessively checks stats. Over the years I have heard fabled stories about Death Valley and the 1981 championship team (which Josh saw play once). I even went and paid homage to the mythic stadium in the first months of our relationship. So, of course, I had to go with him.

Getting the tickets was anxiety provoking enough for me...thank you Craigslist for coming through at the LAST minute...but the game was even more nerve wrecking. While Clemson came out strong, it became quite clear that the two injured defensive linesmen were sorely missed. Josh, though he hardly let it show, was on the edge of his seat and secretly elated to be there.

The game went into double over time and Clemson lost by just one point. It was heartbreaking, really, and I don't really care about Clemson...just Josh.

All in all I am glad we did it. Our seats were great. Josh had fun. It was more exciting than reading the Marks of Methodism and I finally got to share part of the Clemson excitement that Josh so loves. We are even contemplating planning Thanksgiving in SC around a Clemson game!

The Evil of Feminism

I occasionally troll the conservative websites in our denomination just to see what they are up to. I have been waiting to see their reaction to the Clergywomen's Consultation, but have found them absolutely silent on the matter.

Instead, today, I found this thrilling article on feminism, "Stirring the Cauldron of Radical Feminism" about the ridiculous nature of women's studies and the founding of a new university group of conservative women.

It made me both laugh and feel nauseous all at once. The statements were so over-the-top and reactionary it was funny. Yet, these types of sensationalist articles, written without any depth of knowledge of feminism, gender studies or the like, are dangerous to women. They distort feminism for their own benefit, tricking women into not even becoming educated. What is wrong with a little education in the area of gender???

PS
By the way, when I spell checked the article, the computer notified me that "clergywomen" was spelled incorrectly. The correct spelling I was given was "clergymen." Who needs feminism?!?!?

Friday, September 08, 2006

Loving the Political Life

I have worked just three days at my new temporary consulting job as the Religious Outreach Coordinator for MassEquality and I LOVE IT!!!

I am still getting used to working in an office. People actually talk to you and interrupt your work?!?! But it is so engaging and energizing. There is something happening all the time in the office...and I mean all the time...I leave at 6 PM and folks are just arriving to begin their work.

The flow of volunteers and advocates in and out of the office is inpiring and encouraging. So many people working so hard for one cause!! It is hopeful in the midst of a nation and culture which all too often leaves no space for hope. At least now listening to the incessant news reports of war, bombings, hate crimes, anti-gay state and federal laws, poverty, and oppression, I have a little slice of hope to buoy me up because I know that there are small groups of dedicated and passionate indiviudals creating change in the world and bringing forth a little bit of kin-dom for us all.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

No More Vacation

Last week I spent my time driving on the open road from Boston to Denver. Visiting old friends (Sue and Julie; Matt and Pauletta) and making new ones along the way (Jan and Lisa and their delightful children, Emma and Jesse), Julie and I traveled over 2000 miles. (Yes, it is true. I left Josh and the boys behind for a women only vacation.)

Four days on the road gives you plenty of time to talk and talk we did....we planned the revolution of the UMC, created our dream team for General Conference, and concocted brilliant protest/witness plans involving cowboys, dismembered body parts and biblically based sign-acts springing from Deut. 23:1. Captive in our car, we made ourselves laugh until we cried! It is interesting how funny you find yourself when isolated from the rest of the world!

Once in Denver we continued the fun traveling to Royal Gorge, passing on the daily hangings advertised at Buckskin Joe's, stopping by the famous store, "Fluff Em, Buff Em, Stuff Em," wandering through the Garden of the Gods during a thunderous rain storm, drinking lithium laced water, purifying the Focus on the Family compound, touring the Celestial Seasonings' factory, meeting up with Village people, Val and Amy, coasting through Trail Ridge Road, climbing Mt. Evans (okay, so we drove the first 28 miles and walked the last 1/2 mile!), and spotting wildlife such as marmots, white shaggy mountain goats, bighorn sheep, and elk!

Now it is back to work...12 hour work days split between three tasks...propsectus, church and MassEquality. But never fear...one more vacation is on the horizon...Josh and I are heading to his brother's wedding in South Carolina in two weeks!

Monday, August 28, 2006

Our Dogs Are Not Beasts

This morning we had a real test on how well my training has gone this summer learning to be Alpha Female of the pack.

I had the dogs in a "sit-stay" on the back porch while I took out the trash. It was early in the morning...not a soul on the street...that is until a woman and her husky rounded the corner. Before I knew what was happening both our dogs were barking and flying to greet the dog.

At this point, the woman FREAKS OUT. I cannot overexaggerate her absolute PANIC. She begins screaming and shielding her dog, yelling "GET YOUR DOGS! GET YOUR DOGS!!! My dog is not good on leash!" She was completely OVER-REACTING and freaking out all dogs involved. Not to mention at this point my dogs were both in our driveway!!

I, on the other hand, after a summer of training, yelled "NO! INSIDE!" and pretty much immediately both dogs turned and ran back to the porch.

The astonishing part of this whole scenario is that in fact I did not expect my dogs to listen. I was sure we were going to end up in some awful comedic/tragic situation with my dogs running through the neighborhood for hours. Yet, the lesson learned is that my dogs can behave. I can be alpha. Training works.

Our dogs are not beasts!

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Scroll Down for Mary Beth's Book Tag

Mary Beth tagged us a while ago; scroll down to August 11th for our answers.

New Job(s)

As September approached I was clear with myself that I would take on NO new responsibilities. It was time to write the prospectus and get moving on my dissertation. I had one last fling planned for the last week in August as I prepared to drive to Denver with Julie....BUT THAT WAS IT!! No more distractions! I was firm in my resolve.

Then, I went to the Reconciling Ministries Clergy gathering and was surprised by the invitation to take on the responsibility of serving as co-convener of the group and serving on the Reconciling Ministries Board. Six more meetings a year? Traveling around the country? Being with my "church?" Sure! No problem. What's a little more travel and internet collaboration??? I'm not doing that much, right?

Then, I returned home only to find a message on my phone from MassEquality and the Religious Coalition for the Freedom to Marry....they invited me to be a temporary Religious Consultant for MassEquality as they go into the next constitutional convention. While folks outside of MA may think we have won the battle for same-sex marriage, we are far from securing it. The religious right is determined to put marriage equality up for a popular vote, making vulnerable the civil rights of a minority to the whims of the majority. Don't get me started...

Back to the job saga....I was determined when I heard the message to say "NO." I have a dissertation to finish. But when I heard the job description and the bonus salary and the thought of it being only two months...I could not resist!

So much for cutting back on my work...yet, I confess I am secretly elated. While I know from all the clergy manuals on "self-care" I should have more "self-discpline" and "create space and time for myself," I THRIVE on being busy. I love it!

So off I go...

The E1505 It Is

Here is the computer (more or less) I bought from dell. We got it on a stealth internet sale for $900. It has most everything I wanted and some more.

Now the hard part comes in learning to use it!

Friday, August 25, 2006

Computer Chaos

Well, it finally happened. My sad, sorry, pathetic laptop finally breathed its last. Its death was not unexpected, but inconvenient to say the least as it chose to go during the clergy women's consultation PRIOR to my having finished my lecture and handouts!!

Its death prompted me to begin looking for a new laptop. I don't need anything fancy...just a decent speed, sufficient memory for my dissertation and internet capability. Not much to ask. The search should be easy, right?

WRONG!!!

I am convinced that computer retail sites make it chaotic and complicated to purchase a computer to confuse you into buying more than you need.

I have spent the past four days agonizing over what computer to buy. Going back and forth over the pros and cons, weighing the decision to buy a warranty or not, switching screens a million times to compare different models, trying to figure out the exact difference between "Latitude" and "Inspirion," (which to my best knowledge is not anything more than the name...though Josh swears there's more) and generally making myself nauseus with the thought of spending so much money in one place.

I think I finally have it narrowed down to two versions of the same computer...Dell Inspiron E1505.

Of course, now it will not arrive in time for my first day at my new temporary job at MassEquality...more on that to come later.

Monday, August 21, 2006

The Pride and Shame of Being United Methodist

This week I abandoned Josh and the dogs to head to Chicago for the International Clergywomen's Consultation.

I arrived at the clergywomen's conference having heard nothing but raves about this quadrennial gathering of women from around the globe. Words like FABULOUS, CUTTING-EDGE, FANTASTIC, INSPIRATIONAL and even FEMINIST were used to describe this meeting. Yet, when I arrived I was disappointed to find that hardly any characterized this year's gathering.

From the opening worship, in which the scripture was read using male language for God, I knew this was not to be the feminist space for which I longed. For most of the conference, I sat in the back and bemoaned my vision of a progressive, politically charged conference that dealt with the pressing issues facing the church today.

Here are just a few snapshots of what distressed me:

1. Non-inclusive language at a women's conference
2. Traditional gender stereotypes (Pink as the theme color; activities such as decorating the banquet tables and talking about "what food we eat when we want to feel loved")
3. The palpable resistance to uttering the "L" word from conference leaders
4. A racist liturgical dance in which God, portrayed by a white woman, pulled in line God's disobedient children, african american dancers who moved to an African beat

As the days wore on, I began to realize that my hope for the UMC to be a progressive, justice seeking faith community did not match the reality. The UMC is moderate at best and I stand on the fringes as a progressive, feminist.

Yet, I must confess, there were some who rebelled against the conference's seeming censorship of certain topics.

While the preachers had rallied the congregation with visions of an inclusive church, their failure to mention the continued exclusion and oppression of GLBT persons hung heavy. In response, a small group of us began to gather and plan. We brought in doors decorated by Reconciling congregations and wrote a petition that came to be known as the "Bloody Knuckles Petition." We organized an ad hoc choir and wrangled a handful of volunteers flooding out from the evening session. By morning we had a movement in action.

As women gathered the next morning they passed through an angelic choir singing "Seek Ye First," to find a bold sign proclaiming, "Closed Doors,. Broken Hearts. We Mind." At the entrance to the convention center we stood holding the decorated doors and handing out copies of the petition.

This action seemed to release the energy of the conference and make space for the Spirit to move. While in days past the words, "gay" and "lesbian," had been markedly missing, after our action, the words began to trickle in to the thunderous appluase of the congregation who had been thristy for such a word.

Rev. Jane Ann Stoneburner Moore was the first to break the silence at the banquet as she lifted up our call to care for those in need, including lesbian couples. The following day, Rev. Rebecca Parker continued as she articulated the racism and heterosexism that was present. Finally, we heard it from the bishops when Bishop Minerva Carcano talked explicitly about the pain of exclusion and the call to ministry in the midst of a "violent and unrepenting church."

As the days followed, we organized a witness for peace and were able to voice support for Elvira Arellano, a woman seeking sanctuary in a local UMC after being targeted for deportation by homeland security officials. Later Bishop Carcano spoke on CNN on Lou Dobbs program and was AMAZING!

Perhaps there is hope after all......

Friday, August 11, 2006

We're It!

Mary Beth tagged us both for this cyber quiz. Check out our answers. Mine are in RED and Josh's in BLUE.

1. One book that changed your life.
In 11th grade my American History teacher gave us assigned summer reading on both the women's liberation movement and the struggle for civil rights. I can see both covers clearly, but for the life of me cannot remember the names of either one. Both are currently packed in storage, along with all the other non-dissertation related books.

These books were an ontological shock to me having been raised in a white, middle-class, Republican household. I remember thinking..."wow, this is why things seem so different for me as a girl." It was an AHA moment.

The Long Loneliness - Dorothy Day.

2. One book you've read more than once.
A Wrinkle in Time: I love this book, although it gave me nightmares in elementary school!

The Lord of the Rings - about 30 times.

3. One book you would want on a desert island.
The Series of Unfortunate Events Series: I would read them over and over trying to pick up all the literary allusions, puns and clues I missed the first time through.

Engineering for Dummies

4. One book that made you laugh.
Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress by Susan Gilman: This memoir by a feminist 30-something had me in stitches on the plane. I knew exactly what she was talking about at every turn!!

Bunnicula

5. One book that made you cry.
The Weight of Water by Anita Shreve: I sobbed for days after reading that book. No redemption or resurrection in sight!!!

Incidentally I also cried at the end of Love by Toni Morrison but for exactly the opposite reason....there was incredible resurrection at the end.


The Lord of the Rings - The Ride of the Rohirrim to certain death and Tolkien's use of Anglo-Saxon poetic meter to describe their charge onto the field gets me every time.

6. One book that you wish had been written.
My complete family history. There are tremendous gaps and myths circulating on both sides of my family that I would like to fill in.

A History of Lost Civilizations - Angkor Wat, Mohenjo Daro, The Mayans, Great Zimbabwe, Etrucscans, Ancient Celts, Scythians, Easter Island, etc. Who were they and what were they like?

7. One book you wish had never been written.
Purpose Driven Life: I find this type of felt-needs, motivational theology lacking to say the least. You could probably add to this list anything published by Focus on the Family or the ilk. These books are oppressive.

Revelation - John of Patmos was undoubtedly eating the wrong mushrooms growing in his cave. And it's influence has been dramatic and deleterious on many forms of American Christianity.

8. One book you are currently reading.
Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith by Anne Lamott

The Dante Club - Matthew Pearl

9. One book you have been meaning to read.
Just about every one of my queer, wesleyan and ecclesiology theology books I bought last spring in hopes of finishing my prospectus and beginning my dissertation.

The Ants - E.O. Wilson

10. Now tag five people.
I don't know how we feel about this tagging business...

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Atheist v. Christians

Last night we watched a re-run of the 30 Days episode entitled, Atheist v. Christian. The program itself is a fascinating concept. Produced by Morgan Spurlock, the creator of Super Size Me, the program explores what happens when people with seemingly diametrically opposed views live together. Past episodes have included a "Minuteman" border patrol volunteer living with an "illegal" immigrant family and a man who lost his job to outsourcing living with the family in India that took his job.

Watching this particular episode was all too painful for both of us. Neither of us are naive to the embarrassing way most of Christianity presents itself, yet somehow, watching this group of Christians struggle with understanding the mere concept of atheism made us both even more excruciatingly aware of the inability of many Christians to understand the Other.

As the Christians questioned the token atheist about her life and beliefs, it became clear that they could not comprehend life outside of a biblically mandated structure. They seemed baffled to understand how she could live without the guidance of some text to show her exactly what to do, how to do it and when to do. For them Christianity was a tool for creating structure in what seemed to them to be an utterly chaotic and dangerous world without the help of Divine guidance.

It seemed so shallow.

Christianity has to be more than a mere instruction book on life. If all our faith was meant to do was to teach us rules to live by, what does that say about the nature of humanity? Does God think we are too stupid to learn/evolve/grow/change/navigate the world, that we need a step by step guide? I don't think so.

I think the beauty of the Christian faith is its intentional wrestling with the complexities and ambiguities of the world in which we live. The Bible is not a step by step instruction booklet, but rather a text that teaches us how to learn. Christianity is not about giving us the answers, but rather about helping us to struggle with the questions.

Check out the episode while it is still running on cable....

Atheist/Christian [encore]
8/13/2006 at 11:59PM E/P on FX
Atheist/Christian [encore]
8/14/2006 at 11:30PM E/P on FX

Don't miss the segment on Biblically Correct Tours and Holy Land Amusement Park. It was enough to make us both sick!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

New Be-Dazzling Blog

Our friend, Xochitl, has created a new blog that ya'll should check out entitled, Solidaridad. It is now linked via her name on my side bar.

Theological, insightful and Wickedly Wild, the blog leaps from Mary Daly's theology/philosophy into reflections on what it means to be christian and part of the church today.

You might also check out the online Wickedary, an online, abbreviated version of one of Daly's original works that defines many of her key terms. It is fun and fascinating.

Back from Seattle

Day One

Josh: "Let's promise ourselves not to run ourselves ragged this trip trying to do everything in less than a week. Okay?"

Tiff: "Absolutely! We are going to relax and have fun this vacation."

Day Two

9 am - 9 pm - Driving to, through and from Mt. Rainier National Park

Day Three

8 am - 10 pm - Touring Seattle on foot

Day Four

6 am - 10 pm - Day trip to San Juan Island

Day Five

6 am - midnight - Day trip through the Olympic National Park

Day Six

7 am - 10 pm - Touring Seattle and wedding rehersal and more touring

Day Seven

7 am - 11 pm - Touring the neighborhoods and wedding

Day Eight/Nine

6 am (mon) - 9 am (tues) - Mt. St. Helen's National Park, Mt. Rainer National Park and traveling

Josh: "I am abosultely exhausted!"

Tiff: "Me too. I need a vacation!"

Friday, July 28, 2006

Party!

Tonight we are hosting our first party at our new home. Josh and I love hosting dinners. The only problem is that as "cool" as I want to be, I am always incredibly anxious about having people over, lest my house not be perfectly spotless.

We all say we will NEVER grow up to be our mothers, and yet there comes that moment when we realize, like it or not, we are in fact very much the same. My mother dreaded having company. She was terrified of the judgment of her friends on her home, always ashamed and fearful that things would not be perfect. I vowed NEVER to be like that. I wanted to have an open house where everyone felt welcome and folks could drop by unexpected with no problem. Yet, hard as I try, the ghost of my mother's anxiety will not let me go.

I have tried to pretend to be casual and relaxed about having people over, yet time and time again, my anxiety takes over and runs amok...Usually ending in some outburst of despair or anger aimed towards the closest available object of angst.

All this said, today I am doing my best to be okay with the imperfections of our apartment and am determined to enjoy this party no matter what!! As I write this I realize we have not "arranged" the patio furniture and time is running out....I have to go!!

Monday, July 24, 2006

Never Leaving

I am never leaving the city! I have become an urban convert.

Today I was able to walk to the RMV, register my vehicle, pay my cable bill at their local office, buy stamps at the postoffice, go grocery shopping and have a refreshing smoothie...all in less than an hour and within 1 mile of my house. Excellent!

Suburban style this trip would have taken hours and required miles of driving around, parking and waiting in lines. And, if convenience were not enough, I have found local grocers whose prices beat the big agro-grocer conglomerates and who provide me with even fresher products. Who knew city living could be this good?!?!

The extra added bonus is that I now walk so much in the course of a day, I need never set foot in a crowded, sweaty gym again!

Promised Pictures

Here are some of the photos I promised of our new home. We live in the first floor and have a great side porch as well, hidden behind the trees.



Below is our smelly kitchen....we have yet to replace the cat infested cabinets. The trustees only gave us permission to do so this week. It is amazing that anyone would think that kitchen cabinets are a suitable place to keep the litter box!!



This is our living room, doggy protected for those excited, wet, muddy moments!



Here is our "Reading Room." It is a huge hallway that we converted into a mini-library of sorts. On the opposite wall is a comfy recliner and reading lamp.



Here is our very crowded office...it is actually quite cozy from each of our respective desks...mine is on the right, J's on the left.



This is our bedroom, actually the roomiest of all as it contains the least amount of furniture.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Josh Is Already Way West of Jesus

Okay, so what I thought was a new, fascinating factoid about pinpoint consciousness as described by Kotler in West of Jesus is, in fact, old hat to Josh.

His reply to my excitement was, "You didn't already know that?!?"

Ah, the joy of living with the man who knows everything!

West of Jesus


This morning as I groggily awoke to the sound of NPR, I became enthralled with an early morning interview with author, Steven Kotler, on his new book, West of Jesus. The title alone is catchy, but what I marveled most at was his explanation of the phenomenon many of us experience during intensely stressful moments...the feeling that time has slowed and the world has become silent.

I found myself describing just such a scene yesterday at my Wild Women retreat. During my ordination it was as if the world narrowed, slowed and became silent. When it was over, I felt as if the world went back to full speed and I emerged from a time warp of sorts. Freaky...and not something I talk about often...but I chalked it up to my own need to make meaning and a "metaphor" of sorts for understanding the experience.

But, what I discovered this morning is many people have similar experiences and that they have a real physiological explanation! Apparently, during fight or flight moments, the body in preparation for disaster, begins to shut down all non-essential organs...blood flows away from organs, like the ears, for instance, and the processing speed of the brain slows to make time appear to be slowing itself. Apparently police officers and military personnel report this experience during intense gun battles. Fascinating!!!

I am excited to read this book (even though it has nothing to do with my dissertation) and discover more about the anatomy of belief.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Nearly There

This morning is the first day I opened the bedroom doors to an EMPTY hallway!!! Almost all the boxes have now been unpacked and stored. There are, of course, still those million and one last details to take care of...some of which I am sure will go left undone until we move again. Yet, for the most part, it is really beginning to look like home and I am beginning to feel like I can actually study in this space.

We'll post some pictures later.

The timing is perfect to be finished, not just b/c Boston, along with the rest of the country, is in a unbelievably HOT heat wave, but b/c our friend Sue is coming to visit today.

We love Sue!!! Sue works for Reconciling Ministries Network and is the world's greatest pastor, cheerleader, coach, teacher and friend to both me and Josh. We are both very excited for her visit and have spent much time debating which restaurant to take her to tonight. Not that she, living in Chicago, is ever far from great restaurants! (Quite frankly, we think Chicago is a better food town than Boston!!)

Friday, July 14, 2006

LOL

In Boston, commuting is a sport and an individual one at that. As people wait on the platform for the T, they jostle for position all while studiously reading their book or paper; eyes down yet ever ready to make the mad dash for a seat on the train when it arrives.

The rules are fairly simple:

1. Avoid eye contact at all costs.
2. Reading material is a must; book preferable, paper will do.
3. No talking.
4. No touching or getting too close to others on the train.
5. Everyone for themselves.

These rules are generally observed by all urbanites without a second thought. However, when the commuter's code of conduct is broken, everyone notices. Usually this happens by some unsuspecting midwestern family on vacation. As they enter the T chattering on nervously and obsessively checking for their stop, they soon learn this behavior is not appropriate from the angry, condescending scowls of the citified commuters.

Only once have I seen this code broken with joy and laughter.

Yesterday as I boarded the redline for downtown, there was a group of Down's Syndrome adults taking an outing on the same train. Their chaperones were careful to keep the group's chatter and comments to a minimum, hushing and shushing them when it seemed others began to notice. They managed to wrangle the group all in one section of the train and chastised some who sat "too close" to people NOT in their group. All was going well, quiet conversation kept within the bounds of the code of conduct and no one touching ot talking to strangers.

But suddenly, as the train emerged from underground and began to cross the river, the entire group burst into laughter, oohing and ahhing at the beauty of the scene before them. Marveling at the colorful boats and lush green foliage of the esplande, the group was ecstatic. "This is the most beuatiful thing I have ever seen!" exclaimed one woman.

At first, the other commuters tried to keep their heads down and ignore this disruption in their otherwise tranquil commute. But the laughter and smiles and overwhelming joy was contagious. Gradually everyone around me was staring out the window, admiring the beauty of a city we so often forget to see in the midst of our rushed commutes.

As I looked out across the river, I saw that it was indeed beautiful and I too began to laugh out loud!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Davis Square

We have officially lived in Davis Square a week today and are loving being urbanites once again. There is something so nice about being able to walk or take public transportation anywhere you need to go!! We love the diversity and liveliness of our neighborhood. It is quite a difference from the sleepy bedroom suburb in which we used to live!

Here are a few reasons why we love Davis Square:

1. Restaurants! Restaurants! Restaurants!!!
Never another night of choosing the lesser of two dining out evils. Now we are right smack dab in the middle of gourmand haven. Here are a few we like:

- The Blue Shirt Cafe - Gourmet Wraps; think veggies, goat cheese, jasmine rice, black beans and tofu...YUMMY!

- Tu y Yo - The BEST Mexican I have found north of the DF. It is all homemade, slow cooked recipes from Mexico's heartland.

- Redbones - An "okay" barbeque joint within walking distance...so, it's not Dreamland, but it's southern food fast...sweet tea, greens, corn bread, biscuits, not to mention the ribs and pulled pork!

- Toscanini's - A great ice cream and coffee joint...fresh made ice cream only second in the Boston area to White Mountain Creamery and, of course, second to Cincinnati's favorite ice cream...Graeter's.

2. Dog Friendly!
What a great place to walk the dogs and meet other dog owners! Somerville even has a dog owners association..SomDog. This morning we hiked the two and half miles from our house to the dog park for a play date! The dogs are happily sleeping while I "unpack."

3. Public Transportation!
We are now only three blocks from the Redline...no more parking nightmares, tickets or high fees when we want to hang out in Boston...all we have to do is hop on the T!

4. One Block from our CSA
Last year I drove 45 minutes each way to pick up our produce from our CSA (Community Supported Agriculture), Waltham Community Farms. Now, I walk one block to a pick up station and get all my fresh veggies without the long drive!

5. No one knows my secret identity
Here no one knows I am a pastor...I get to be a regular person, a neighbor, a friend!


Catching Our Breath

Phew! Moving has been insane! We have spent the last three weeks working from 6 am to midnight pretty much every day...first the packing, then the moving (spread over two full days!!) and now the slow, never-ending unpacking and re-packing that comes with downsizing.

Unlike our last move where we had more space than we knew what to do with, this time we have no space. Going from a ten room parsonage to a three room apartment is a challenge. It makes us realize how much crap we have accumulated in just three years!!! Of course, this realization has not stopped us from re-packing and storing all the things we marvel at having kept. I suppose we are both sentimental about memorabilia...gifts, knick knacks, papers, letters, cards, rocks from trips and books with which we just can't part. So, they get packed, unpacked and repacked.

The basement is FILLED with boxes of our stuff...once we finally get the apartment in order, the basement will be the next task. Lest you think I exaggerate, check out the photo...it is a 6' deep x 12' wide x 8' high space...and that does not include the room of boxes or the two walls of shelves jam packed with all our stuff!




All of this moving has left us exhausted...especially our poor pooches who just can't figure out when we get to go back "home" again.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Animal House

In the midst of our moving madness we have acquired two new pets...Bijou, a cockatiel and Peppa, a sun conure. Feeling guilty that our house was too chaotic to house a homeless parishioner, I decided we could at least take care of his birds. How much trouble can birds be???

While the birds are quite lovely...fun, cute, responsive...they also suffer from separation anxiety! Yes, it's true. We keep the birds in the guest bedroom and keep the doors closed lest our pooches become too inquisitive and decide these birds are stuffed toys with which to be played (as Cletus did last month to a small bird in our yard...another traumatic pet tale). And generally, throughout the day, the birds are happy to chirp with their fellow feathered friends outside in a nice subdued tone.

This however changes when they hear me or Josh moving or talking nearby. Then the chatter grows louder and louder until we come into the room and comfort them. The minute they see us, they are silent. All they want is a little attention. But try to leave and the nice quiet, affection turns ugly. When anyone leaves the room, the poor parrots squawk like mad...

"Don't leeeeaaaaave me!!!"

(Okay, so they don't actually speak those words, but the tone of the cry says it all.)

This anxious, loud cry then turns our mostly calm dogs into two scared nervous wrecks, who begin to paw and whine and cry and shake...perhaps in sympathy with their bird brothers or in pain from the ear piercing shrieks. All of a sudden the house erupts in animal chaos!!

As you might imagine, with the stress of moving, it doesn't take much to tip the balance of restrained anxiety into full-blown panic mode these days. As it is, poor Cletus is anxious all the time, not knowing what to make of the packing and mommy's high stress level. Mostly he lays forlorn at my feet with the saddest expression, only to intermittently leap onto my lap in random anxious attacks during which only a cuddle can calm the nerve rattled beast.

It truly is an animal house around here these days....oh, to be done with moving!

Friday, June 23, 2006

Obsession

I realize I have become completely obsessed and over something silly, trivial, juvenile, infact.

I am obsessed with downloading the theme from Alias to be my ringtone for my phone. I have searched the internet high and low. I repeat searches on google just in case something has changed since the last time I frantically looked for the fulfillment of my cellular dreams. I go back to the same websites time and time again believing that they will have upgraded their site and have added my crappy Samsung phone on the list of phones that support the tune. I surf the T-Mobile site, sure that even though the show has ended and is no longer the hottest new thing (and perhaps hasn't been for about 3 years), that they will have sensed my longing and posted the theme for fans like me.

This morning I even found myself wading through cyber-techno-babble (babble to me since, as Josh says, "I am bad at technology.") trying to figure out how to download a "Midi" file (who knows what that is??) to my phone. But alas, I have a funeral to write and it seems this process is not easy...particularly for a technologically challenged person like myself.

Sigh.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Josh's New Job

YEAH!!!!! Tomorrow is the start of Josh's new job!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!

Can you tell we are excited? Josh has been looking for meaningful work that came with benefits and a living wage for months. He had finally resigned himself to another two years of administrative work when this job came along. After two very intense interviews for a non-profit (think a timed fill-in-the-blank quiz and an interview with the entire 15 member office staff shooting question one after the other), Josh was hired.

As of tomorrow, Josh works for Homestart, Inc., a housing advocacy non-profit. His branch is in Central Square in Cambridge (just three stops on the red line from our new home in Davis Square). His job is both as a housing search advocate (helping people find and lease housing) and as a budget counselor (I know some of you are laughing right now...yes, it is a little ironic!).

Maybe he will even grace this blog with his presence to write about his first day on the job!!!

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Crashing

It is amazing how much stress the human body can handle....and equally amazing how hard it crashes when the "fight or flight" adrenaline wears off. Following the week of mad preparation, the hellish week of annual conference, and the draining week of hosting lots of different folks, my body could take no more.

I had the worst migrane of my life all day Friday and Saturday. It felt as though it would never end. Usually my newly found migranes (just started getting them this year) last 24 hours...this one held out for two days.

So, while I slept all day under the weight of the pain, Josh went to the American Beer Fest in Boston. I'm not sure who felt worse at the end of the day.

Today, the magic of sleep finally wore down the migrane and left me awake and alert to finish my last sermon for the parish I am leaving in just a week.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Life Resumes

The last two weeks have been utter chaos as we prepared for and weathered my ordination celebration. The frantic preparations for guests, the party afterwards and then the visits from family that lingered over the next week have completely exhausted both me and Josh.

Phew!

While I was overjoyed to have so many folks come to celebrate with me...folks from so many different parts of my life, I have to admit that the actual ecclesiastical, institutional ordination was painful. It became so very clear to me that the institution of the Church is hierarchical, patriarchichal, and loathes any hint of non-conformity. I suppose I should be relieved to finally have "made it" into the ranks of "elders," but quite frankly it feels like an exclusive club to which I still don't belong. My social, political and theological convictions leave me at odds with the institution. While I hold the title of being now in the center, my heart and soul remains on the margins.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

A Fine Dinner Ruined

Last night Josh and I hosted one of my advisors, her roomate and their very playful pup to our house for dinner. We had a great time...after an initial establishing of the doggie hierarchy, the dogs got along fabulously running and jumping throughout the house together. We talked about everythnng from university politics to how to train our dog to family holiday horror stories of years gone by. It was lovely.

And then, the inevitable came. My advisor said, "Why don't we go into the other room and talk about your prospectus?"

This would be the prospectus that I have worked nearly six months writing, the prospectus that failed the advanced studies committee twice already, the prospectus that I can't stomach looking at or even thinking about.

Suddenly the fun atmosphere of party and doggie playdate became as somber as any funeral march as I followed her to my office.

And so we spent the next half hour, standing in my office taking apart the work I had done and building something new that I don't quite comprehend yet and which I think will ultimately be rejected by my other advisor. I am just not ready to engage that work again.

It was helpful and hopeful on the other hand to hear my advisor and roomate's equally shattering and painful experiences with their own prospecti...at least I am not alone.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Moving Madness

We are t-minus one month before the big move from a large, spacious 10 room parsonage to a tiny four room apartment and I am going mad!

First, trying to go through three years of accumulated CRAP is time consuming and frustrating as I realize how very little of my mountain of CRAP I ever actually use. Then there are the painstaking questions of what to let go of...notes from seminary, college, even high school? Will I look back and regret throwing them away? And then there is my beloved 15 year old Mac computer....how can I get rid of it when it has ALL of my undergrad work on it??? I have one non-functioning laptop...but again it is the storage unit for so many papers from seminary....

In the packing and sorting we have also been shocked by just how very much Christmas stuff we have. One year I stocked up on wrapping paper...we will NEVER have to buy wrapping paper again...mountains of the stuff!!! And gifts to be given...boxes of baskets and ornaments waiting to be given...one green Santa I've waited to give to someone for the past 5 years!!!

Oh, and the clothes....beloved outfits I haven't worn for years, but sit promising for just that right occasion. We have a little under ONE MILLION socks...the problem is none of them match each other. Separated at laundry, the socks wander from basket to basket in our bedroom searching for their first mate only to be sloughed back and forth from pile to pile without ever finding a match.

The second huge task is figuring out how to fit the furniture of a ten room house into a four room box...not easy. I sit up late at night figuring out different configurations, moving furniture in my head until I fall asleep from mental exhaution. I put the sofa here then there. I re-arrange the book cases and contemplate knocking down walls, or better yet building walls. I ponder finishing the basement and re-painting the cabinets. At at the end of it all, I realize none of it will ever work.

The third task is figuring out moving time. The current tenant has decided he has no need to give a date when he will move out...there are even hints that he will not move out at all which will force a horrible confrontation from an already mad and over stressed doctoral student (who would be me!). This means there is no time to prepare the apartment before we move in. We will have to clean, paint and unpack at once in a space so tiny you can hardly move . It is going to be hell. How I am supposed to write my prospectus during this move, I have no idea.

And the fourth addition to the perfect storm of madness brewing in my mind...my parents are coming, along with Josh's mom, my mentor from Michigan and his family, my best friend from high school, all the wild women, and about 50 other people to a bash at our home (now ravaged from the sorting and packing nightmare) in a week. All I have done is bought the frozen burgers.

Sigh.